Age Before Beauty
by kacc1112
Summary: A surprise camping trip during shore leave brings change between Jim, Spock, and Bones. K/S/M Crackish slash, but there is a plot!
1. Chapter 1

Ok, so this is the first story we have ever posted, but hopefully you have as much fun reading it as we had writing it. This was originally a series of emails between me and my best friend that took on a life of their own and we decided that others needed to be included in our insanity. It's crackish (so if that's not your thing, get out NOW!), but it does have a plot.

DISCLAIMER: No, we don't own Star Trek and all of the awesomeness it encompasses... One day, one day...

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AGE BEFORE BEAUTY

Chapter 1

Jim skipped around merrily, singing a little tune he had made up. "_We're going on shore leave! We're going on shore leave!_" Bones rolled his eyes at his friend's antics.  
He looked at Spock, eyebrow raised. "I'm not going with him on this one. That's _way_ too much responsibility."  
"Doctor, I never go on these leaves. I have more important things to do than traipse through the woods with an overly excited Jim."  
Jim stopped his song briefly to say. "You know you love me when I'm overly excited."  
Bones and Spock ignored him and he went back to singing his song. Bones turned to Spock, "Damn it man, I'm a doctor not a babysitter!"  
Jim again stopped singing, this time hooking his arms into both Bones and Spock's. "Stop arguing over me boys, because you both are coming. That's an order!"

"Jim! Wait!" Bones yelled as he was dragged to the transporter room by his captain.  
"What?" Jim cried in exasperation as he stopped in the middle of the hallway-causing several ensigns to _narrowly_ avoid bumping into them. Spock nodded his head in acknowledgement to the ensigns as he followed the Captain and CMO through the hallway.  
"You still haven't told us where shore leave is!"  
"Oh that..." Jim scoffed as he continued down the hall with Spock following behind them.  
"Yes, that!" The trio had made their way to the transporter room and Jim stopped upon entering, as if searching for something.  
"Jim, are these the items that you are looking for?" Spock gestured to three extended hiking backpacks. Bones looked upon them in confusion.  
"What the hell are those?"  
"Backpacks, Doctor."  
"No shit, Sherlock! But why do we have them?"  
Jim took the packs and handed them to Spock; He then returned to Bones' side and pulled him onto the transporter pad.  
"Where are we going, Jim?"  
Jim looked to Bones and smiled as they began to energize. "Camping."  
"WHAT THE FU-" Bones was cut off by the transporter.

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So, this chapter was short- we know... But we wanna hear if the rest is worth posting, so if you want more LEAVE A REVIEW!


	2. Chapter 2

DISCLAIMER: Same as chapter 1.

It's another fairly short one, but hey, it's what we got!

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Chapter 2

They appeared in a lush clearing, surrounded by trees. The sun shimmered through the purple leaves and sparkled onto the oddly blue grass. "It's awesome isn't it? When Sulu told me that the grass was blue I didn't believe him, but look at it. It's fucking blue!"

"Jim, we have seen stranger."

"Yeah, Jimmy boy. Remember that time we went to a club and ended up in a barn in Mexico with a three eyed goat?" Bones laughed heartily until he noticed the peculiar looks the men were giving him. "So," he said in an attempt to dispel the awkwardness. "When do we begin this little adventure?"

"Right now!" Jim exclaimed with a smile. " I think Sulu told me to go north, or was it south? Oh well, it's not like we'll get lost! We have Spock."

The Vulcan spoke with indignation. "It is not as though I am Magellan, Jim."

"Aww, don't be modest Spock!" Jim clapped him on the back with a grin.

"Yeah, _Spocky_, don't be modest!" Bones said mockingly. The Vulcan did not answer, and instead he began to walk through an opening in the clearing.

"Do you always have a snide remark, Bones?" Jim said in exasperation. Spock was fifteen feet in front of them, taking in the beauty of the planet, clearly not listening as Jim berated the doctor.

"Do you always have to stick up for the hobgoblin?" Bones said in honest confusion. "If I remember correctly, not six months ago he had you in a chokehold on the bridge."

"Since you were so concerned, then where the hell were you, Bones? Oh, that's right; you were standing off to the side _watching_. But you know what, this isn't about that. This is about me bonding with my friends."

"If that's true, then where are Scotty, Uhura, Sulu, and Chekov?"

"They'll be around," was Jim's ambiguous reply. "They promised to meet us at the summit so we can spend our last night together."

"The summit?"

Jim nodded, pointing in front of them. Now, Bones would pride himself on being an observant man, but somehow his discussion had kept him oblivious. Before them stood the tallest mountain Bones, and arguably any being, had ever seen. His jaw dropped and Jim smiled. "The summit."

"Oh fuck no." Bones stated. There was no inflection in his voice, no feeling whatsoever.

"Aww, don't tell me you're scared, Bones!" Jim laughed.

"I'm not gonna lie, man... I am terrified."

"Dude- liven up!"

"I'm a doctor, not Meriwether Lewis exploring the mutha-fuckin' United States!" Bones threw his hands up.

"Yes, yes, Bones... I know that. That's why I'm not calling you Meri- although I can if you'd like me too!" Jim grinned cheekily.

"Go to hell, Kirk." Bones laughed and shoved Jim in Spock's direction.

"Are you two prepared to move on?" Spock said in a manner that was _definitely_ _not_ annoyed.

"Yes, oh green-blooded one... We apologize for the wait!" Bones bowed low and swept a pack from the forest floor, making his way out of the clearing.

"Dude!" Jim called after Bones, grabbing a pack and attempting to run after him while putting the pack on. "I'm gonna call you Princess Meri!"

The planet's equivalent of a pine cone hit Jim in the center of his face. Spock followed after Jim and McCoy and most certainly did not roll his eyes.

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Once again... Leave a review!


	3. Chapter 3

DISCLAIMER: See first chapter.

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Chapter 3

"Is it me, or is it really friggin' hot out here?" Jim whined swiping sweat from his brow.

"I find the weather quite enjoyable," Spock stated.

"Oh shut up, ya elf, you're used to this kind of weather. Jim and I," Bones said, gesturing towards himself and Jim, "are sweating our balls off!"

Spock raised his eyebrow, undoubtedly about to say something about the impossibilities of that, when Jim interjected. "You know what? I love the sun. It means that if I go shirtless, I can get a tan, and you know how good I look with a tan!" With this he ripped the golden uniform shirt off and tucked it into the side of his bag.

"Jim, you might tan in our sun, but this one is ten times more powerful, you're gonna burn."

"It'll be all good Bones. What's the worst that could happen?" He said with a shrug of his shoulders.

"Don't say that! It's like saying you're retiring!" Bones and Jim ducked after this was said.

"What are you doing?" Spock asked, confusion adorning his face. "Is there a reason for your actions?"

"Well, people who are about to retire are almost always shot at," Bones informed Spock in a matter of fact way.

"Where do you get these facts from, Doctor?"

"It's just something They say..."

"Who is "They"?"

Jim and Bones looked to each other. "That is a good question..." Jim said.

"Definitely worth some further thought..." Bones agreed.

The Captain and CMO continued to have a conversation about who "They" were, with Spock interjecting when he felt the need to, for a good two hours. Suddenly, Bones spotted a lake in the distance.

"Look!" Bones pointed ahead of the trio. "Last one in's an Andorian!" Bones smacked Jim on the back and waited for the expected return. What he didn't expect was the girlish scream that erupted from Jim's mouth.

"Ah!" What's the worst that could happen, indeed.

The sun had been down for hours and the two moons sat high in the sky, reflecting off the sparkling lake. Around a crackling fire sat Spock, Bones, and a less-than-happy Jim. "It's so f-fucking c-cold!" Jim shivered underneath the bulky sleeping bag he had wrapped around him. "B-bones c-can you do somethin' f-for the burn?" His blue eyes pleading.

"If you had told me what we were doing, then maybe I could have put a few things together, but no, you wanted it to be a surprise. Well, you got your surprise, Jimmy-boy." Bones smirked and took a swig of his flask. Jim looked to Spock, who sat reading in the fire light.

"Spock?" Jim's voice was too sweet as he stood up and shuffled over to the Vulcan.

"Yes, Jim." Spock asked, not looking up from his book.

"Your body temperature is higher than mine, right?"

"That is correct. Why do-" Spock's air puffed out as Jim's body slammed into his. He sat as stiff as a board as Jim cuddled into his side.

"That's so much better!" Bones chuckled when he caught the slight look of desperation in Spock's eyes. After five minutes of basking in Spock's pain, Bones finally spoke up.

"It's great that you have your own personal heater and everything, but where the hell is the pop up tent? I'm getting tired and your little situation over there is annoying as hell."

"Oh, well that's the best part! We're roughin' it! Like the cowboys!"

"You have got to be shitting me!" Bones looked at Jim in disbelief and then shook his head. "No."

"Whadaya mean, no?"

"I am not sleeping on the ground!"

"Why not?" Jim uncurled himself from around Spock so that he had enough room to look at the doctor. Spock just sat there with the same not-helpless-look on his face.

"Bugs, germs, disease-"

"The next one's death." Jim whispered to Spock.

"Death, infections... Need I go on?"

"That will suffice, Doctor." Spock said. "However, it may be prudent to add that we cannot obtain a tent at this juncture, therefore it would not be wise to, I believe the term is, 'excrete liquid from the eyes in reference to a wasted bovine by-product.'"

Jim and Bones exchanged a glance and then promptly burst out laughing. "The expression is 'no use crying over spilt milk', Spock."

"Ah. I see."

"Uh-huh..."

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Another fairly short one... They do get longer as we go!


	4. Chapter 4

DISCLAIMER: Same as before... See chapter one

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Chapter 4

Surprisingly Bones slept well on the ground, wrapped in warmth and the comforting scent of peaches. It reminded him of home, and made him want to sleep forever, right up until he realized how hot he was. Slowly, he opened his eyes to find deep brown eyes groggily looking back at him, only inches from his face.

"What the-! Ahh!" He was so surprised, that he jumped up, falling right back down because he was still wrapped in a sleeping bag. Spock went to stand up as well, but found he couldn't. Looking down, he saw Jim sprawled on his chest, drool dribbling from his mouth and onto Spock's black shirt. He grimaced very, very, _very_, slightly.

Spock shook him softly which, surprisingly, woke him up. "Wha'?" He sat up sleepily, wiping the drool from his chin. Jim looked around sleepily, doing a double-take upon seeing Bones. "Why are you all the way over there, Bones?"

"Because I'm trying to get as far away from that _voyeur_ as possible," he said, pointing to Spock.

"I am not the voyeur, Doctor."

"What are you insinuating Spock?"

"That-,"

"-That you like his sexy bod!" Jim laughed heartily at the look on Bones' face.

"I do not like his sexy- I mean, I don't like his body."

"Yeah, sure, keep telling yourself that." Once again a pine cone type thing was flung at Jim, only this time he was ready, and ducked out of the way. Behind him, however, Spock was not so lucky.

"Did I just get hit in the face with a pine cone?"

Bones squeaked, "No!"

Bones scrambled out of his sleeping bag and away from the Captain and First Officer. Spock also sat up and eyed the doctor with disdain. "Don't move Spock!" Bones held the sleeping bag up in front of his pajamas, as if the clothing was a shield, and backed away.

"As if I would waste the energy required to chase you."

"Fine..." Bones sat back down, looking, to the entire world, disappointed. As he sat down, Bones was hit in the back of the head strong enough to send him tumbling forward. He whipped around in time to see Jim and Spock looking suspiciously innocent. "What the fuck? Who the FUCK just hit me? Jim?" Bones growled lowly, eyes narrowing.

"N-not me, B-Bones." Jim replied, the effort to keep in his laughter turning his face red.

Bones looked to Spock. There was- "No. Way."

"Doctor?" Spock said innocently.

"You did _not_ hit me with that pine cone thing. There is no way!"

"Fascinating."

"Tell me about it!" Jim and Bones cracked up.

After Bones and Jim got over their fit of giggles, which were in no way feminine, they decided to pack up and continue on their trek. "It's such a beautiful day, huh, Spock?"

"It is adequate, Jim." Jim's smile dropped a little as he pushed forward, leaving Spock and Bones behind him.

"Do you have to suck the life out of everything, Spock?" Bones said, watching the young captain walk forward. "He's just a kid, why don't you humor him a little?"

"It is not the Vulcan way," was Spock's reply.

"Is that your standby response for everything? Screw the Vulcan way! He's your friend who you joke with every day, and don't say otherwise because I know that you know that that would be a lie. Not to mention, you're half human Spock. That weird sense of humor has to come from somewhere." Spock raised one eyebrow. "You heard me, ya green-blooded hobgoblin. Your father couldn't joke around even if his life depended on it."

"I would appreciate it, Doctor, if you would refrain from speaking about my father condescendingly."

"Whatever Spock, I see this conversation has not made one difference." With that he jogged up to Jim who had already begun sweating in the planets elevated heat.

"Jim!" Spock raised his voice enough to carry to the men in front of him. Jim looked back over his shoulder. "I do believe that the day is quite beautiful. It nearly rivals Vulcan." Jim was beaming as he turned back around. Bones definitely did not smile, though.


	5. Chapter 5

DISCLAIMER: See chapter one

Ok, so I am updating sooner than I had planned because I got some reviews... KEEP 'EM COMIN'! Happy feedback makes for a happy author, haha.

Now, a warning, this is when the story starts to get crackish... A little crazy, but we wanted to liven things up. And I may have had a traumatic experience on a ride in Florida's Wild Kingdom... I'm just saying...

Now - enjoy!

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Chapter 5

The trio made their way through the lush forests of the planet over the course of the day, traveling mostly in silence. No one felt the need to talk, the silence between them being a comfortable one, but that could only last for so long.

"So. Jim. How long will it take to reach that mountain?" Bones asked, breaking the silence.

"Oh, uh... I don't know?" Jim said as he began to walk at a faster pace. Bones stopped walking, as did Spock.

"You don't know?"

"Uh, nope. I figured that we'd get there when we did- more bonding time guys!" Jim shouted back as he took off at a run.

"_Dammit, Jim!_" Bones launched himself after the captain and Spock followed close behind. They had almost reached him when a loud sound reached them.

"_Rawr!_"

The three stopped and stared at each other and then turned around slowly.

"I thought this planet was uninhabited!" Bones hissed accusingly at Spock.

"That was what the ship's readings claimed, doctor."

"Oh. Shit." Was all Jim said as he continued to stare in the direction the sound had come from, while the other two had turned to each other.

"What?" Bones turned to look and then quickly turned and ran the other way. "_Oh, hell no! I ain' abou' to be eaten by a goddamn dinosaur!_" The other two quickly followed.

They ducked into a cave and waited for the alien tyrannosaurus rex to pass. When the coast was clear they all- yes, even Spock- heaved a sigh of relief. "Holy shit on a shingle!"

"Shit on a shingle? Really, Jim?" Bones asked with a breathy laugh.

"What, you didn't like it?"

"No."

"It is rather vulgar, Jim."

"You have got to be shitting me! We were just chased by a t-rex and you're worried about my vulgarity?" Bones and Spock exchanged a look in which Jim huffed in annoyance and stomped out of the cave.

"Whatever, I don't need you guys!" As he spoke, the dinosaur returned to the clearing and ran towards Jim. Instead of running, like Bones and Spock thought he would do, he just stood there and stared at the beast. It stopped in front of him, drool dripping from its mouth. "Go ahead, eat me! See if I care!" Spock and Bones looked on in horror as the t-rex leaned down and . . . licked Jim?

"What the-?"

"Indeed."

Jim giggled as the t-rex licked his head. "That tickles!"

"What is this, Land of the Lost!" Bones exclaimed.

"Oh, shut up, Bones. You guys can come out now, I'm pretty sure Jorge is not going to bite."

"Jorge? Really, Jim?"

"At least it's not Gertrude!"

"Hey, it wasn't my cat, it was my wife's!"

"Yeah, keep telling yourself that."

Jim stood in front of the dinosaur and let it continue to lick him.

"Jim, maybe you should get away from '_Jorge_'," Bones said in an anxious manner.

"Dude, there is a dinosaur _licking_ me! When is this ever gonna happen again?" Jim cried as he basked in the glory of the dinosaur's attention.

"Knowing you and your tendency for the strange, probably next month," the doctor deadpanned.

"You suck, Bones."

"I am forced to agree with the doctor, Jim."

Bones looked to Spock in disbelief. "We are camping together and you can't even call me by my name? Some friend you are."

"I did not consider us friends, doctor."

A look of sadness and embarrassment crossed Bones' face, but was quickly replaced by anger as he huffed and turned back to face Jim. "Whatever. Jim, for safety's sake, you should back away from the dinosaur just in case..."

"Nothing's gunna happen! You worry too much." The dinosaur continued to lick Jim.

"I worry just the right amount!" The licking continued at a higher rate. Spock had moved his attention from McCoy to "Jorge".

"Captain..."

"And another thing-!" Bones and Jim continued to yell at each other.

"-That was one time, Bones! And you swore you would never tell anyone!"

"Captain..."

"-It's Spock, who's he gonna tell?"

"James!" Spock raised his voice and both heads turned to face him.

"That was hot!" Jim cried. "Say my name! Say my name!"

"The dinosaur has taken an interest in you, Jim," Spock nodded his head at the beast and the captain.

"We realize that, Mr. Spock," Bones said sarcastically.

Spock looked sharply at Bones. "I only mean to say that I am agreeing with your assessment that Jim needs to remove himself from that creature's presence. For safety purposes, of course."

"Uh-huh."

"Look you guys; I think you're just jealous that Jorge doesn't like you!"

"I am not jealous!"

"Vulcan's do not feel jealousy."

Jim opened his mouth to say more, but was cut off as the dinosaur stopped licking him and finally just picked him up by his backpack. "HELP!"

"GODDAMMIT!" Bones cried as Jim was carried into the distance by a dinosaur.

"Indeed."

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"I knew it! I fucking knew it!" Bones fumed. They were trudging through the forest following the tracks that had been left by the dinosaur. "I told him that dinosaur was bad news and now look what happened! He's about to be the main course on tonight's menu!"

"Doctor it is prudent that you do not allow your emotions to cloud your thought processes at this time."

"Oh, shut up!" Bones yelled, whirling to a stop and spinning to face Spock. "Are you even a little worried that your Captain is being eaten by a fucking dinosaur? No, you probably aren't because then if he's dead you get to take his place." Before he knew what happened Bones was pinned up against a nearby tree. Spock's forearm pressed against his chest, his eyes murderous.

"I will accept you saying that I am less of a man due to my heritage," his voice was deep and gravely, tinged with anger. "And I never give you trouble when you use xenophobic terms, but I draw the line at you insinuating that I would be so conniving as to wish death upon my captain, my friend. So, doctor, why don't you _shut up_?" Spock released Bones and stalked off. The doctor followed in silence shortly after.

"Well. At least you consider someone your friend," Bones couldn't maintain his silence for long.

Spock stiffened as he led the way. "Excuse me?" He said coldly.

"Well, we've gone over the fact that_ I_ am not your friend. Which I am thankful for, by the way- wouldn't want to make that mistake again." If Spock caught onto the sarcasm Bones used, he made no mention of it. "But now I'm just wondering- why is Jim your friend? I mean, you said it outright that you consider him to be your friend." Bones stated in a lofty voice, attempting to hide the hurt he was feeling.

"A friend is defined as being someone who is a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard, also as a person who is on good terms with another; a person who is not hostile. You, doctor, are most certainly hostile and we are not attached to each other by feelings of affection," Spock stated as continued walking.

Bones sighed and said nothing.

"Do you disagree, Doctor?"

Bones shook his head. "It doesn't matter, does it, Mr. Spock? Anything I say will be used against me."

Spock turned around at the defeated sound of McCoy's voice. "Doctor?"

"It's noth-"

"No. No. No. No - NO!" Was the interruption Bones received from up ahead.

"Jim!" Bones cried out in relief.

"We are not finished with this conversation, Doctor." Spock said as he spun around and charged toward the yell.

* * *

Jim was settled down against the wall of a canyon, his pack making him bounce with all of the jostling. He and the dinosaur eyed each other. "So, this is it then, huh? The final chapter in the story of Captain Awesome... Damn."

The dinosaur sniffed him and Jim jumped back a bit... The dinosaur lunged and at him and Jim cried out as the teeth grazed his chest. "No. No. No. No - NO!"

Bones and Spock ran into the canyon in time to see Jim holding his shirt together. "Jim, you alright?"

"NO!" Jim huffed back.

"Are you hurt?" Bones asked in urgency.

"NO!"

"Then what the _fuck_ is wrong with you?"

"H-he - He ripped my favorite shirt!"

"God. Dammit."

The dinosaur whirled around to face Bones and Spock. It snarled and hurled itself towards the men, but they were ready for it. They readied their phasers, and-

"NO!" Jim jumped out in front of them. "She's not hurting me!" The men stared at him in bewilderment.

"You can't be serious!"

"I am completely serious! Apparently, I'm attractive to anything! Except the two things that matter," the last part he muttered under his breath.

"So you named a female dinosaur, Jorge - a male name," Bones deadpanned.

"Well, I didn't know it was a she at the time!" Jim said in indignation.

"Still, if you weren't sure then why not choose a unisexual name?"

"Because I-"

Spock cut him off. "How many times must I stop you two from arguing in dire situations?"

"The situation isn't dire, Spock, she just likes me is all."

"Jim, are you aware that, on this planet, this type of dinosaur eats their mate?" Silence filled the air. "I will take that as a no. Carefully move away from the animal." Jim scurried away from "Jorge" and stood behind Spock.

"Protect me!" He squeaked as the dinosaur roared at the loss of her "love". It took one shot to take her down, but to be sure Bones walked over with his tricorder.

"It's dead, Jim."

"_It_ was a she, Bones. Why are you always so insensitive?"

"I am not going to call the beast that nearly killed you a she. All that that thing is in my book is a monster!"

"You're so cruel, why do I put up with you!"

"Sometimes I think the same thing!" Spock turned and walked back the way they came, ignoring the "children."

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So, REVIEW please...


	6. Chapter 6

DISCLAIMER: See chapter one...

I wanted to say THANK YOU to everyone who has favorited or put an alert on this story! I am sending you all mental hugs. So this is the last chapter... That I have edited! I'll try to get chapter 7 up by the end of the week. The story is totally done, I'm just putting the finishing touches on it...

ENJOY!

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Chapter 6

The trio continued on their way, chatting and trying to annoying the hell out of each other. Or, at least, Jim and Bones were.

"Must you two act as if you are adolescents?" Spock finally asked, successfully stopping Jim and Bones' talk about the benefits of chocolate- Hershey's chocolate.

"You're just pissy because you can't have any," Bones said and turned back to Jim.

"Wait... Why can't he have any?" Jim interrupted Bones before he could continue. Spock looked sharply at McCoy and shook his head in the smallest way possible.

"Uhhh... He's allergic."

"Really?" Jim asked suspiciously.

"The effects of chocolate on my system would have quite adverse effects on myself."

Jim looked at Spock with concern in his eyes. "Whoa, good to know then! I wouldn't want you being ill, Spock."

"I appreciate that, Jim," Spock said solemnly.

Bones rolled his eyes and continued walking. "Well, it's nice to know that you two care for each other." Spock stared at Bones. "What, Mr. Spock?" Bones asked as he continued on ahead.

Spock looked almost startled for a minute. "How did you know I was about to address you, Doctor?"

"I had a feeling. It's a human thing, you wouldn't understand."

Spock's eyes lit up as Jim stared between his friends. He could practically see the tension between the Vulcan and the doctor. "What's going on guys?" He asked in concern.

"I have just recalled that the doctor and I have a conversation to finish."

Bones stiffened and stopped walking, but did not turn around.

They stood there for a minute or so, no one saying anything. Bones was nervous; you could tell by the way he shifted his eyes back and forth, not daring to look at Spock or Jim. "What kind of conversation?"

"Yeah, Spock, I don't know what you're talking about," Bones tried to play it off, but he knew better than to think Spock would drop it.

"You know exactly what I am talking about Leonard," Spock said, taking a step closer to Bones. "This conversation will be better facilitated by your turning around."

The doctor complied and looked up shocked. "You never call me by my name."

"Why were you so angry when I said that we are not friends?"

"I wasn't angry!" He cried in indignation.

"You were. When you are angry your nostrils flare." Jim watched as the men spoke back and forth.

"How do _you_ know that? Only my friends know that." Spock did not speak, letting the longstanding question answer itself. Bones was shocked yet again. "So, what are you saying, you _do_ consider me a friend?"

"Logically, we are not in any way friendly."

"Illogically?" Bones hedged, catching onto where Spock was directing the conversation.

"It is an unconventional friendship that only we could have. We, being the three of us," He looked to Jim who looked teary eyed.

"I'm so happy! It's about fucking time! Does this mean we get to cuddle again tonight?" Jim smiled, clapping his hands together in a mocking manner.

"NO!" and "That is not likely, Jim," were answered at the same time.

"Why would I want to sleep with that hobgoblin?"

"Indeed, I would not want him to hypo me in my sleep."

Jim laughed at the protestations. He wrapped his arms around their shoulders. "It's good to be back boys!"

* * *

Bones walk with a lighter step the rest of the way. They had veered from their course greatly after the "dino-disaster", as Jim had taken to calling it. So, they attempted a course correction and continued on. They walked for another few hours, discussing anything and everything, but Jim and Bones kept going back the "them".

"Seriously! Everybody says it! We don't even know who "they" are!" Bones said adamantly.

"Conspiracy, man! The government is trying to keep us down!" said Jim in a very 70's hippy accent, causing Bones to laugh.

Spock was unable to stand anymore of their ridiculous banter. "The very idea that a government would start such a rumor is-"

"Illogical!" Jim and Bones said in unison as they high-fived.

"Indeed," Spock replied with a raised eyebrow.

The laughter was cut off by a cry from Bones. "Look!" Bones pointed into the distance. "It's another lake!"

"Last one in is a rotten egg!" Jim yelled as he took off towards the water.

"Why would anyone be an animal by-product, Jim?" Spock questioned as the other two threw their packs at him.

Bones yelled over his shoulder as he raced Jim, removing his shirt at the same time. "Don't leave our stuff behind, Spock!"

"Fascinating," Spock said as he gathered the dropped belongings and set up a campsite at the edge of the lake. The water was not blue, as it is on Earth, but had a pink hue to it. Spock got closer to study it when he heard a cough come from his companions.

"Bones? Didn't your mother ever teach you to not swallow water?" Jim laughed, swimming closer from where he treaded water in the middle of the lake.

"I di-didn't!" Bones coughed some more and scratched at his chest. Spock stood up and made his way closer to the doctor. "I think I mi-might be all-allergic to the water!" Another series of coughs knocked Bones from his feet and he disappeared under the water.

A moment was all it took and Spock was in and out of the water, a soaking wet and slightly blue Bones cradled in his arms. Jim, who had left the lake and run to get a hypo out of McCoy's bag, appeared at Spock's side and jammed it into the doctor's neck. "Bones, you okay?" When he didn't answer Jim knew something was seriously wrong. "Spock, he's not breathing!"

Spock placed him on the grass so that he was level, tilted his chin back and began CPR on the now unconscious doctor. The medical technique may have been antiquated, but if the hypo was not working, Spock would do whatever it took to help Leonard."C'mon Spock, it's not working!" The Vulcan continued to breathe into Bones' mouth. Finally, after what seemed like forever, Bones rolled onto his side and coughed, water flowing from his mouth for several moments. When he rolled back over onto his back, his eyes opened they zeroed in on Spock's, which were mere inches away from him. Without thinking twice, he lifted his head up and brushed his lips over Spock's. Off to the side Jim squealed and clapped his hands. "I knew it!" Spock still hadn't moved, keeping his somewhat surprised eyes on McCoy. Panicking, Bones widened his eyes and pushed Spock away.

"Damn, that water must've gotten to my head. I thought you were someone else! Sorry man, I'll understand if you're a little weirded out." Spock stood and straightened his shirt.

"It is fine doc- Leonard."

Although he sounded normal, Jim saw in his eyes that he felt dejected. When McCoy wasn't looking Jim pressed his fingers against Spock's. "Give it time, hun," he whispered.

"Did you say something?" Bones looked up from where he was on the ground, just barely catching Jim pull his hand away. He narrowed his eyes. "Am I interrupting something?"

"Nope," Jim shrugged, "just telling Spock how awesome it is to see you allergic to something for once."

"I could have died!"

"But you didn't, so there!"

"Must you always be so childish, Jim?" Spock asked, exasperation almost evident in his voice.

"Yes," he said as he stuck out his tongue

"Besides, I was allergic to something else a while back. It almost killed me too, but Starfleet saved me."

"And what would that be, Leonard?"

"My wife."

_

* * *

_

_This is fucked up!_ Bones thought despairingly. _Totally re-fucking-diculous. I can't believe I did that. Spock'll probably kill me in my sleep. Or at least Jim will, since I made a pass at Spock. _

The feelings flying around the men were a combination that could spell disaster. Bones was jealous of Jim, Spock was _not_ feeling rejected by Bones, and Jim was pissed at the two of them. He didn't have to make a choice- he was Jim Kirk for Christ sake! And what Jim Kirk wants, Jim Kirk gets. And at this moment, he wanted Bones and Spock to get together so that he could squeeze himself into the middle and make a Kirk sandwich. Operation McSpirk was a go.

* * *

And there we go... Leave a review!


	7. Chapter 7

DISCLAIMER: See chapter one.

Here we are again! There isn't much to say about this chapter - it gets more into the relationship between the three. But I won't say anything else...

* * *

Chapter 7

Once again it was night time, and a fire was crackling in the middle of their makeshift campsite. Spock and Jim sat close to each other which earned them a glare from Bones. "Way to be rude guys. It's not like there's another person here being ignored," the doctor said with no lack of indignation in his tone.

"Oh, sorry, Bones, Spock's just really warm you know? Not to mention he is very, stimulating . . . when he wants to be," Jim said, raising his eyebrow in innuendo, which only Bones caught.

"Thank you, Jim, I find you very stimulating as well." Bones spit out the swig of scotch he took, his eyes bugging out of his head.

"Well, if you think I'm stimulating, just wait until you get a little closer to Bones. He's quite _hard_ headed and he always has a _slow_ build up, until BAM!" Jim smacked his hands together, "you're hit right in the face with his-"

"Jim, that's enough!" Bones bellowed as his cheeks turned red with embarrassment.

Spock looked at him in confusion. "He is merely giving you a complement, Leonard. There is no need to be upset. Finish what you were saying, Jim."

"It's alright, I was done anyway. I said everything I wanted to." A smirk made its way across Jim's face, smugness radiating from him.

"Very well. Since we have had a long day, I suggest we retire at this time," Spock said, laying out his sleeping bag and getting inside. Jim unrolled his next to Spock's while Bones laid his on the other side of the site, but the young blonde was having none of that.

"C'mon Bones, we're not going to bite," Jim laughed, gesturing to the ground next to him and trying to keep the apprehension out of his voice. He needed the doctor next to him, there was no question about it.

"I'm fine, Jim," Bones said, rolling over and facing away from the fire and the pair on the other side of it.

"Please, Bonesy?" Jim whined. Bones cringed. "Puh-puh-puh-lease?" Bones tried to disappear into his sleeping bag, but the voice would not cease. "Please! _Please! Please!_"

Bones growled. "Fine! Now, will you please shut up!" He got up and laid his sleeping bag on the other side of Spock because there was no more room next to Jim. "Happy?"

"Extremely!"

* * *

Relaxing with Spock and Jim was nice, right up until Jim decided to start singing in his sleep.

"...Say muh name, say muh name... when no one is aroun' you... say baaabyyyy... I looooove yoooou..." He groaned and rolled over in his bag.

Bones moaned as he was woken from a nice dream involving his companions, himself, and a camping trip that wasn't cursed. "Goddammit, Jim!"

"Leonard?" Spock had awoken by this time as well, although, it was a result of Bones' mumblings and movements.

"Sorry, Spock," Bones apologized with a small smile, "I didn't mean to wake you."

"Why are you not sleeping?"

"Jim."

Spock looked at Jim. "Ah."

"Yup. I was thinking that I might toss him into the lake. Or dump some water on him." Spock looked at McCoy with a dubious expression on his face. "What? Look, it's almost morning anyway!"

"Have you suffered from a lapse in memory along with your allergic reaction?"

Bones realized the flaw in his plan. "Oh, yeah."

"Indeed." Spock took one look at McCoy's expression and knew he was in for trouble.

"Spock, my very favorite Vulcan. Do me a favor?" Bones pulled out the big guns - the puppy pout.

"What will I gain from tossing Jim into the lake?"

"Oh, you're good!" Bones said with appreciation. "I knew there was a reason I kept you around!"

"Apart from the fact that I am also stationed on the Enterprise and that you lack control over the crew manifest?"

"That, too. Look, you don't have to toss him into the lake. Here's what you do..."

Jim's dream consisted of Spock, Bones, and himself. That's it - literally. It was a nice dream, until it started to rain- "GAHHH!" Jim jumped up in his sleeping bag and fell back to the ground amidst a poorly disguised snort of laughter. He looked around him and saw that Bones and Spock were still curled next to each other "sleeping". Like Jim believed that! Hah! They didn't know what they had coming.

Bones knew it was weird that Jim never said anything about the water incident, but he tried not to ponder it, he was too happy that Spock actually liked him. They had "woken up" just after Jim did, and Bones was pretty surprised at how well Spock could lie- or _evade,_ as he would put it. Now, they were nearing the mountain's base, and although it was still huge, the climb was so gradual that Bones really wasn't worried anymore.

It was nearing dusk and they had found a perfect place to set up camp. "I'll start dinner; you guys should go out and get some more fire wood," Jim said pulling out pans and ingredients. Spock eyed the items worriedly. "Don't worry Spock, I promise I won't make anything that will kill you," Jim joked, nudging them towards the forest. When they were out of hearing range, Jim smiled widely and spoke in a menacing voice, "You wanna fuck with me? Then be prepared to face my wrath!"

What Spock and Bones didn't know was that Jim wasn't as oblivious as they thought. He made sure to find out everything he could possibly know about every member of his crew. Now, Vulcan's are very private beings, but the few things Jim got his hands on he made sure he didn't forget- like the fact that chocolate is the Vulcan equivalent of alcohol.

Fifteen minutes later Spock and Bones returned to the campsite, arms loaded with wood.

"I'm starved!" Bones exclaimed, sitting with a huff on the ground. Jim handed him a plate of food that smelled delicious. "What is this, it smells so good."

"It's a secret family recipe, if I told you I'd have to kill you." Bones groaned when he took a bite. Jim handed a plate to Spock who took it hesitantly. "It's vegetarian, Spock."

"Thank you, Jim."

"Oh, you're welcome."

It happened gradually after his first bite. Spock began to lean towards his left, then he realized what had happened and straightened up, but then leaned towards his right.

"Are you okay, Spock?" Bones asked worriedly. Jim took a drink to hide his grin.

"Yes, Leonard. I'm fine."

Bones looked at him, horrified. "Did you just use a contraction? And the word 'fine' in one sentence? _Jim_!" Bones rounded on the young captain who sat huddled in a sleeping bag clutching a drink. "What did you do?"

Jim burst out laughing as Spock fell over and rolled onto Bones' lap. There was a squeal and a shove as Spock began to nuzzle Bones.

"Dammit, Jim! What did you do?" Bones cried as he tried to keep Spock from nuzzling him. He heard a muffled sound come from Spock. "What?"

"Chawwclat..." Spock moaned as he rolled over again due to a push from Bones.

"Chocolate? _Did you give a Vulcan chocolate, Jim_?" Bones threw a furious look across the fire at Jim.

"Like it matters! All it did was make him drunk... Who knows? Maybe now you'll get laid." Jim retorted. "God knows you need it!

"And what the hell is that supposed to mean?" Bones growled.

"You know exactly what that means Bones. Look, he's already trying to get into your pants," Jim gestured to Spock's head resting in McCoy's lap.

"You're such a moron, Jim."

"Takes one to know one, Bones."

"Screw you!"

"You already have!" Bones looked down to make sure Spock didn't catch that. "Why do you have to be so loud? He could have heard!"

"He's out cold, Bones, and so what if he did? It's no secret that we're a little more than friends, just like it's no secret how crazy you are about him!"

"Well, the same goes for you buddy."

"At least I'm not ashamed to admit that!" It was quiet except for the crackling of the fire and Spock's light breaths. "I know you've had trouble with relationships in the past, but it's not like he's going to string you along. And you know I'd be lost without you!"

Neither spoke again, falling asleep alongside the Vulcan with the mutual feeling of understanding. It was going to take a while for Bones to actually come out and admit his feelings, but it felt good that Jim understood and would always be there to look to for advice.

Despite what might be thought, the morning after the 'talk' was not an unpleasant one. Spock awoke to the sounds of Jim and McCoy joking around the fire while they cooked. It was a nice sight, he thought as he contemplated the view and decided to enjoy it for a while - or at least until they noticed him.

"No way. You're making that up..."

"I am not!" Bones said indignantly. "I am offended that you would imply that I am anything other than an honest man!"

"But come on, seriously?" Jim had a look of amusement and skepticism on his face. "Think about it..."

"I try not to."

"Ha. Ha. You are hysterical," Jim deadpanned.

"I don't need you to confirm that."

"You're an ass!" Jim laughed.

"But you love me anyway!"

"Yup," Jim said, becoming serious and causing Bones blushed a bit, not that he would ever admit it. Spock decided to intervene at that point, not fully understanding the interactions between Jim and McCoy.

"Jim. Leonard." Bones grinned at the sound of his name.

"Spock! You're up!" Jim exclaimed.

Spock clutched his head and moaned a bit."Jim, must you be so loud? And why is the sun so bright at this early hour?"

"Spock, are you complaining?" Bones asked with a smirk on his face.

"Perhaps," Spock mumbled as he rolled over and curled up underneath the covers. "Alert me when breakfast is complete."

"You got it, man." Jim and Bones exchanged a grin and continued their tasks, lowering their voices as they did so.

Spock ate his breakfast slowly trying his hardest not to vomit. Bones and Jim whispered back and forth to each othe,r giggling about something the half-Vulcan wasn't yet privy to. "May I inquire as to why you both are giggling like children?"

"Oh, it's nothing, Spock, just a little _girl talk_," Jim said, lisping for emphasis. Bones nudged his shoulder to shut him up, but a little nudge never stopped him before.

"Girl talk?" Spock said, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah, y'know when girls talk about their lives, the men their seeing, the women they hate. It's pretty heavy stuff if you've ever sat in on one of their conversations. I mean, men are pretty cut-throat, but damn! We ain't got _nothin'_ on the ladies," Jim laughed. "I was walking by a couple of lieutenants the other day and they were talking about how much they hated Chapel-"

"Why would they hate Chapel, she's an amazing nurse!" Bones said shocked.

"Well, apparently Chapel isn't as sweet as she makes it out to be and they called her out for it."

"What could she have done that would make them dislike her so?" Spock inquired, finally getting in on the conversation.

"The rumor is she sleeps with anything and everything that walks, except for me, you and McCoy." Bones looked away uncomfortably which Jim caught. "You didn't!"

"It was a few years ago. I was stressing about an exam and she . . . relieved me?"

"Why didn't you just come to me? I could have relieved-" Bones' panicked eyes reminded Jim whose presence they were in. "I mean, we could have talked and gotten your mind off it."

"It's not that big of a deal. Nothing came of it, anyway . . . obviously. Can we get back to Chapel being a whore?"

"Oh, yeah. So, apparently she has this whole plan on getting into me and Spock's pants."

"She would never succeed with me, Jim. Vulcan's mate for life," Spock stated matter-of-factly.

"What are you insinuating, that I would give into her "feminine wiles"."

"In the past you have been rather promiscuous, Jim."

"Yeah, well that was then and this is now. I'm a changed man, Mr. Spock, well, in the relationship sense, in bed I'm still the same." Of course Jim would have to clarify that. "So anyway the two lieutenants were all "Hells no!" -Because they love us so much and wouldn't ever want our reputations tarnished- and went up one side and down the other of Chapel. I'm thinking about giving them medals of Honor or something for saving our innocence." At the same time Bones and Spock raised their right eyebrows.

"Spock's innocence, maybe. But you lost yours in the eighth grade, Jim."

Jim smacked Bones on the arm. "You are such a bitch!"

"Thank you!" Bones fluttered his eyelashes.

While they were cleaning up something dawned on Jim. "_O-M-G_!" Jim cried, saying each letter. "Bones, you know what I just realized?" He said in a very valley girl way.

"Like, what Jim?" Bones retorted.

"We, like, totally popped Spock's girl talk cherry!"

Their laughter didn't cease for nearly ten minutes.

* * *

So, plenty of people have favorited or put alerts on this story, which is PHENOMENAL, but there have not been many reviews... Leave me a review! Puh-puh-please!


	8. Chapter 8

DISCLAIMER: See chapter 1.

I just want to say that it wasn't until after writing this part that I realized that I basically copied the idea from Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan. So, sorry... But it worked out nicely. I think. I would also like to say that I have never experienced a mudslide, so I apologize if it is not accurate.

* * *

Chapter 8

The trio set out late that day. And on top of that, it was slow going. What was thought to be a gently ascending mountain was actually a mountain from hell. Or so Bones claimed.

"Come _on_, Bones! Have a little spirit," Jim said, with a laugh.

"No, man! This sucks!" Bones grumbled.

"It is physically impossible for a mountain to 'suck' anything, Leonard," Spock deadpanned.

Bones stared at Spock. Spock stared at Bones.

"You suck."

"Not presently, Leonard."

Jim stared at them as Bones laughed and Spock let loose a twitch of the lips.

"This is awesome!"

* * *

"Holy shit, it's already sunset. We were bums today, huh?" Jim laughed.

"We would have gotten more done if this lightweight knew how to hold his chocolate," said Bones, gesturing over his shoulder to the slower than usual Vulcan.

"That is true, he had, like, one bite and was swaying!" Jim laughed.

"I do not appreciate you talking about me as if I am not present."

"We're not, we just choose not to involve you in our conversation, ya wimp."

"You think that I am a _wimp_, Jim?" Spock asked, an unreadable expression on his face.

"Yeah, what are you gonna do about it Spock? Logic me to death?"

"No."

"Yeah, that's what I thought!" Jim turned around to continue on when he was knocked to the ground. The body on top of him was hot and heavy. Spock's breaths were blowing loudly in his ear.

"I believe the phrase is 'Gotcha'," Spock growled and Jim had to bite his lip not to moan.

"As interesting as this is to watch, and believe me if this were a different situation I would be sitting here basking in the hotness of this scene, we kind of have a problem."

"Oh yeah, and what would that be?" Jim was lucky he heard Bones at all- the sound of Spock purring in his ear was driving him crazy.

"_Mudslide!_"

"What?" Jim looked up the mountain and sure enough, there was a mudslide. "Oh, shit! _Run!_"

The three turned tail and booked it back down the mountain.

"This is illogical!" Spock shouted to the others. "We must run _perpendicular_ to the mudslide in order to move away from it."

"FINE!" Bones yelled and turned to his right, the other two following suit. The roaring of the mudslide grew closer and closer.

"There's a cave up ahead!" Jim yelled, pointing. They dove into the cave just as the mudslide flew across the opening, bringing along with it enough boulders to effectively block the entrance.

"Jim..." Bones panted as he lay on the floor of the cave. Jim moaned in response from his position. "I am _never_ going campin' with you again."

"Unngghh..." Was Jim's reply.

"Gentlemen," Spock gained their attention, each rolling over from their respective positions to look at Spock. "It would seem that we have two options: Call the _Enterprise_ for assistance; that is if we can get a signal, or continue into the cave."

Jim grinned excitedly. "Cave! I vote cave!"

"No."

"Bones! Think about it! It'll be like that Lord of the Rings movie! We have already have an elf!"

"Dammit, Jim!"

* * *

"This is the second time we've ended up in a cave. This little trip of yours is cursed Jim!" Bones yelled, the sound echoing off of the cave walls.

"You knew coming into this that I have horrible luck." No one could deny that as Jim spoke. "Besides, I always miraculously make it out alive."

"First things first, I didn't willingly come into this, and neither did Spock. Secondly, the only reason you've made it out alive is because one of us was on the outside ready to save you. And by one of us, I mean me!" Bones threw his hands up in the air.

"Way to take all the credit, Bones."

"Well, Spock would be there if you didn't have him shoved so far up your ass. God forbid you could go on away missions without him for once." Anger colored Bones' words, a fact not missed by the captain.

"You're just jealous because I get to spend more time with him than you do."

Spock was watching them in the dim light as they bickered a few feet ahead of him.

"Th-that's not true." If the cave wasn't so dark Jim and Spock would have been able to see the blush gracing his cheeks.

"Keep telling yourself that!"

"Fu- AHHHHHHHH!" The ground beneath Bones and Jim's feet gave way and they began plummeting down a slide-like hole. The Vulcan watched in horror as the pair disappeared from his view. As their screams got further away, Spock knew he had to make a decision, jump in after them or try to call for help.

* * *

The tunnel ended and Jim and Bones were flying through the air, awaiting their certain death. When they hit water, however, they were pleasantly surprised. "We're alive! We're alive!" Jim exclaimed, bobbing up and down in the water.

"Not for long, I'm allergic to this. God, I'm too young to die!"

"Bones-"

"My poor baby girl, what will they tell her?"

"Bones-"

"And Spock, we'll never get to be together!"

"_Bones_!"

"What Jim, can't you tell I'm dying here?"

"No, you're not."

"Yes-" He stopped himself, looking at his hands and then taking a deep breath. "No, I'm not!" Then he grabbed Jim by the neck and kissed him deeply.

* * *

Spock slowed his way down the tunnel by pushing his hands against the walls. As he neared the end he managed to stop, although once he had, he wished he hadn't. Bones and Jim were locked in a passionate kiss and Spock didn't appreciate that one bit. Well, he did, but at the time he didn't realize that he was.

"Ahem," Spock cleared his throat in an attempt to gain attention.

Jim and Bones broke apart. They looked at each other, one with horror, the other with glee, and then they both turned to face Spock.

"Sp-Spock!"

"Dude! How did you manage that one?"

Spock stared at them both, a little disappointed. "It is irrelevant. At this juncture we are unable to return from where we came. However, there appears to be another opening across the water."

He gestured ahead of him and there was indeed a way out. Kind of. They made their way to the opening, Spock with some reluctance to get in the water, but it was the only way to get across. Upon reaching the other side, Bones turned to face Spock.

"Spock-"

"We must press onward, Doctor."

"Oh."

Jim looked at the dejected and rejected looks on his friends and soon-to-be-lovers' faces and thought that maybe this trip was a little cursed. But he was Jim Kirk- and Jim Kirk could do the impossible!

"Jim! You coming?" Bones yelled from down the cave.

"Oh! Yup!"

* * *

They swam through the opening and were awed by the sight. It wasn't an exit, although there was a very small opening in the ceiling; rather it was a totally different world, much like that of Earth. The blue waters were infested with various fish -some sparkly, some multi-colored-and birds flew above them, landing in palm-like trees. The cavern was about the size of the Enterprise, Spock calculated. "It's beautiful," Bones whispered.

"Indeed," Spock stated, observing the scenery.

"Is that the only thing you know how to say?" Bones said in exasperation.

"Bones, shut up, you're ruining the moment." And he listened.

* * *

It's unclear how long they treaded water, taking in the beauty of this world within a world, but by the time they came back to themselves, they could feel the night overcoming the planet.

"Guys, I think we're in the mountain," Jim said.

"What do you mean?" Bones asked, curious.

"Well, I think that this . . . place is in the center of the mountain - like, the mountain is just there to protect it."

"It is possible," Spock said, still looking around.

"Yeah, I guess, but why didn't the ship pick up on it?"

"The mountain could be blocking it." Spock nodded his head in agreement. Normally he wouldn't be so . . . human, but the lightning bugs fluttering around them had caught his eye.

They floated in the water for a few more seconds until Bones couldn't take it anymore. "As nice as this is, there's an eel swimmin' up my ass," Bones said, ruining the revered silence.

"That's not an eel," Jim said, valiantly maintaining a straight face.

"And this isn't my fist in your face," Bones said as he threw a punch at Jim, who just laughed and proceeded to wrestle Bones in the water. Spock had managed to get himself onto land and was attempting to dry out his pack. Occasionally he looked at the pair in the water, checking to be sure that neither of them had drowned, but mainly focused on his belongings and then proceeded to explore his surroundings.

"Say it!" Bones had Jim in a headlock.

"_Never_!" Jim cried out.

"_Say uncle_!"

"_Fine! Uncle!_" Bones released Jim and punched the air.

"You're an ass, Bones."

"No, I have an ass."

"Yeah, you do!" Jim made googly eyes at Bones who just snorted and made his way to land, the Captain following. The pair followed Spock's idea and laid out their objects to dry.


	9. Chapter 9

DISCLAIMER: See chapter one.

So there is a bit in this chapter where the idea came from a Star Trek movie (I can't remember which one, sorry!) and the Iron Man movie.

* * *

Chapter 9

It wasn't really the best idea Jim ever had, but the trio split up in order to examine the area they were in. The light that illuminated the surrounding foliage had to come from somewhere.

The forest was thick, but nothing about it shouted danger. The only thing that was troublesome was the darkness that the thick brush created. "Spock? Bones? Where are you guys?" Jim felt his way blindly through the wood until he tripped on something. "Oww!" He knew his knee was bleeding as well as his elbow, but it didn't seem like anything was seriously hurt. He pushed himself off of his stomach and sat back against a tree. "Fuck my life!" He groaned.

"Jim?" Spock's sight was better than a humans and he could easily maneuver through the forest, so it really wasn't hard to see Jim sitting against the tree. "Are you alright?" He knelt down beside his Captain placing his palm against his shoulder.

"Yeah, just a couple cuts. I'll probably have bruises tomorrow. It's nothing I can't handle." Spock helped him up and they started walking back towards the beach. All day there had been sexual tension between them, and Jim wouldn't mind kissing Spock in front of Bones, but he knew Spock would - for now at least. So, before they made it out of the woods Jim turned to Spock and kissed him. It was powerful and wonderful and perfect. Jim brought his hand up to cup Spock's cheek, who gasped at the feelings his Captain was sending him. All too soon Jim pulled away, a lazy smile on his face.

"What was your reason for that?"

"I just wanted to, that's all. Did you not like it?"

"No." Jim frowned and went to turn away; Spock grabbed his arm. "I liked it very much." Spock's lips quirked in an almost smile. "Leonard is waiting for us and is beginning to worry."

* * *

Bones sat by the fire as he waited for the return of his friends. When they did appear, Jim wore a satisfied smile on his face and even Spock looked relaxed. For this reason, Bones eyed the pair with suspicion. "Took you two long enough."

"Well, Spock here got lost and I had to rescue him!"

"Jim, it appears that in addition to your minor injuries, you are suffering from hallucinations, for you know exactly what happened."

"I'm sure he does." Bones mumbled under his breath as Jim grinned unabashedly at Spock. "Dinner's almost done. I hope you thought about firewood."

"Shit. Uh... Spock?"

"I left a pile before I made my way to find you, Jim. I will retrieve it," Spock said as he reentered the forest, leaving Jim and Bones to look at each other.

"So, got lost, huh?" The doctor spoke with sarcasm.

"Yup."

"Spock found you?"

"Yessir."

"What a relief," Bones deadpanned.

"Oh, yeah," Jim said and Bones looked at him sharply.

"Why do you do that?"

"Do what?" Jim asked in honest confusion.

"Try to piss me off and make me jealous?" Bones said, anger lacing his words.

"I don't!" Jim cried, looking affronted.

"You do! And if you continue to, you're gonna find yourself without a CMO!" Bones yelled. "I can't take it anymore! I know you and Spock have a thing going. I also know that you and I have a thing going. You need to make up your mind, Captain!"

Jim leaned back as if he'd been slapped. "So, that's how it's going to be then? You'll just give up on us because you can't handle the pressure?" He leant in towards Bones. "Well, fuck you, doctor. Do you even know what I would give up for you? What Spock and I would give up for you? You're like a brother to me; you've been my best friend, and lover - God, have we loved." Tears were streaming down his cheeks, but he didn't care. "And I can't give that up; it would be like giving up breathing, but Bones. . . Spock is the missing piece for us." McCoy tried to protest. "Don't deny it, Leonard! Stop trying to fight it. And don't make me choose because it will be impossible for me. I'd rather lose everything than choose, lose the Enterprise, even. I'd rather die than choose." Everything went silent except for Jim's sobs, and the clearing of a throat. The men looked up-glossy blue eyes and broken brown ones- to see Spock standing their confusion with in his own orbs.

"I believe one of you should explain."

* * *

Spock had been quite content when he returned to get the firewood. He was a little confused, however. Although Spock denied having feelings, he felt more deeply than most people. So, when Jim had kissed him, he felt elated, but also anxious. He had to consider his feelings for Leonard and, apparently, his feelings for Jim, as well. The last bit was new to him, but not a surprise. He and Jim had gotten along extremely well after the Narada incident. He and the doctor, however, was a different matter entirely. Theirs was the definition of a love-hate relationship. Constant bickering and arguments would lead many to believe that the two despised each other, but in reality, the two were almost constantly in the presence of each other- between work, meals, and times off-shift, they were always around each other. Their off-hours were spent with Jim and Spock playing chess while Bones might be found reading or even watching them play. Spock became used to the presence of the two men and found himself thinking as he walked through the trees on an alien planet that he could not picture a future without the two of them in it. But when he returned to the clearing to see the most important people in his life looking like disaster had struck, he did not know what to do with himself. "I believe one of you should explain."

Jim looked at Spock and then back at Bones. "I've had enough of this dicking around our problems."

"So, now it's a problem?" Bones had made up his mind. There was no point in fluffing up his opinions and he was always one for brutal honesty. "Ya know what? I love you, morons. I don't know why, and I probably never will, but I don't give a shit! If either of you have a problem with that, then you should just shove it up your ass." Now, it may have not been the best time for humor, but Jim could not let that one go.

"Well, I don't have a problem with it, but do I still get something shoved up my ass?" Bones looked at him, and then burst out laughing.

"God, I love you." He said shaking his head. Then he cupped Jim's cheeks and kissed him. It was nothing earth shattering, but it was sweet and completely needed.

"I believe you have already said that, Leonard," Spock interjected, he was just close enough for Bones to grab him around the neck and pull him in for a group hug. It was quite the picture, Bones' head resting lovingly atop Jim's, his hand cupping the shorter man's cheek while Spock's head rested on his, Bones' other hand clutching his neck.

"We are so fucked up," Jim laughed.

"Yeah, but it works for us."

"I believe we must discuss this further, gentlemen."

"Yeah, we really do need to talk about this, but for right now food and sleep are sounding really good."

"Dammit, Jim is that all you think about?"

"No," Jim said seriously, "I think about sex too!"

There were several moments of silence until the doctor let a smile pull across his face. "Jesus Christ!" Bones laughed, pulling back far enough to look at Jim with fondness.

"Hey, don't bring your religion into this!"

"Perhaps you both could save this conversation for another time?" Spock asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I guess for you, babe," Jim said while squeezing Spock a little tighter.

"Jim, I am not an infant."

"It's a term of endearment, Spock!"

"It is rather demeaning, Jim. I must admit I do not like it."

"He's just gonna call you it anyway, darlin'," Bones pointed out with a shrug.

"I assume this is another term of endearment," Spock questioned with a raised eyebrow.

"Yup." Bones said popping the 'p'.

"Fascinating."

"Yup." Jim mocked the doctor, smiling widely. They started to disentangle themselves. Before they parted fully, Jim took each of their hands and squeezed tight. "Oh, guys before I forget to tell you - I love you too."

* * *

Dinner was served and the tension had lessened considerably- at least, it was for Jim and Bones. Spock on the other hand was still unsure of what had happened. But rather than disturb the peace, he opted to meditate while the others played cards for a little while. He knew that he cared deeply for both men, and they obviously felt love for him, but Spock wasn't the best person to tell you about emotions. So he, of course, did not know what he was feeling.

"I think we overwhelmed him." Bones whispered to Jim as he dealt out the cards.

"Yeah, but it'll be fine."

"How can you be sure?" Bones asked in concern. "Spock isn't exactly the go-to-guy when it comes to emotions, ya know?"

"True, but the only logical outcome is for all three of us to be together."

"And how do you figure that?" The men looked at their cards, ordering and separating them as they pleased.

"Because we can't be happy without each other and we can't function fully without the support we all offer." Jim received a dubious look from Bones. "Look, Spock's got the logic, you've got the compassion, and I've got the awesomeness. It all adds up - trust me!"

"The last time I did that I chased after a dinosaur to save you."

"Touché... Now, you ready to get your ass kicked?" Bones snorted and started the game.

"You got any 5's?"

"Go fish..."

* * *

The rest of the night went well. Spock joined after the third games and for once didn't win, finding the game of "Go Fish" illogical. Jim and Bones found his dislike for the game illogical. They went to sleep just after their seventh game, and didn't wake up until noon. When they had finished breakfast they began to look around for an exit. After an hour, they met back up at the campsite, Jim surprisingly not getting lost. "I didn't have any luck, what about you guys?"

"I, too, did not see anything," Spock admitted. Bones nodded his agreement.

"Yeah, me neither. So, what do we do?"

"There is always the option of contacting the Enterprise." Jim looked panicked at Spock's suggestion.

"No! I don't wanna go back, yet!"

"We could ask them to transport us to a secure location, Jim."

"Yeah, but-"

"It wouldn't hurt, Jim." He huffed, grumbling a "fine" and took out his communicator.

"Kirk to Enterprise." No one answered. "Captain Kirk to Enterprise, come in Enterprise." Again, nothing. "Well, I guess that's out of the question."

"The only way we're getting out of here is through that opening, then. And I'm pretty sure none of us can fly," Bones stated, turning to look back at the exit.

"Actually. . ." Jim said thoughtfully.

"Oh, shut up, Jim," Bones said, not even bothering to turn around.

"I'm not kidding Bones, I totally forgot that I had these!" He ran over to his pack and within a minute pulled out a pair of boots. "Scotty showed them to me, said he made them himself. I haven't been able to try them out, but I trust Scotty, he wouldn't give me something that could kill me."

"Well, that's nice and all Jim, but what do they do?" Bones asked, staring at the boots in suspicion.

"They fly!"

* * *

Review please?


	10. Chapter 10

DISCLAIMER: See chapter one - I also don't own Iron Man, The Hangover, or Robert Downey Junior.

Sorry that this update is so late! College is distracting... Thanks to everyone who is reviewing! You make my little world go round!

* * *

Chapter 10

Bones stared Jim down with a blank look on his face. "And you had these the whole time."

Jim had the decency to look abashed as he blushed and looked away. "Yeah... Sorry about that."

"I'm gonna forget that you were holding out on us and ask - Are they still gonna work? I mean, they have been chewed on by a dinosaur, tossed around in a mudslide, hit against a slide thingy, and they went swimming..." Bones let his list trail off, staring pointedly at Jim.

"Ah, I see your point," Jim said, looking back at the boots.

"So, then what's the plan, Captain Awesome?"

"We test them out, duh!"

Spock and Bones glanced at each other. "Jim, who would perform the testing?"

"-And if you say you, then we are gonna say no."

"But, they're my boots!" Jim whined.

"But, you're my captain!" Spock shot Bones a look. "_Our_ captain, sorry, Spock."

"So, why can't I test them? Apart from your admirable concern for me, of course," Jim asked, not lacking sarcasm.

"You are a genius, Jim. You can fix them if need be," Bones attempted to reason with Jim.

"Spock's a genius, too! He could always fix them if something happened," Jim shot back.

"I'm gonna test them," Bones said with conviction, snatching the boots away from Jim and putting them on.

"But, what if something happens to you?" Jim asked Bones with worry coating his voice. He watched the doctor strap on the boots, placing his own shoes off to the side. Jim moved over to stand by Spock, letting their hands brush lightly and allowing each other to feel their mutual worry for the man in front of them.

"Then, you two'll fix the boots and fly us away to safety," Bones said as he stood up in the boots.

"I have to say this- you kinda look like Ironman, you know, the part in the beginning when Stark is testing out the boots? I always had a thing for that guy..." Jim trailed off dreamily.

"It is nice to know that when Leonard's life is in danger, you can switch off your worry, Jim," Spock deadpanned.

Jim looked at the pair in horror. "I'm worried! How can you say that?"

"Shut it! It'll be fine," Bones reassured them, trying to calm Jim.

"You're sure about this?" Jim asked one last time, trying not to think about the possibility of disaster.

"Yes, Jim. I'll be fine," Bones said, giving a kiss to Jim and Spock - just in case, not that he thought that anything would happen. He clapped his hands together, rubbing them ferociously.

"Let's do this."

Bones activated the boots and hovered for a bit off the ground. Jim and Spock looked on in relief. "See! It's fi – _AH!_" The boots gave off a bang and the bottoms sparked. Bones was launched backwards into the lake, landing in the middle with a splash. Jim and Spock gasped and sprinted to the water's edge as the ripples made their way to the lake's edge.

"Bones!"

"Leonard!"

There were a few moments of silence and then a head broke the surface of the water, gasping for breath. "Well, that clears that up then!"

After fishing Bones out of the lake they sat down on the sand. "So, one of you just needs to fix them." Jim picked up his pack and pulled out another bag. "Why do you have a purse in your pack?"

"It's not a purse, it's a satchel! Indiana Jones has one."  
Bones shook his head with a small grin. "Quoting 'The Hangover' only makes you look even more ridiculous."

"Shut up, you know you love that movie. Bradley Cooper is fucking delicious!"

"Must you do that, Jim?" Spock said a hint of annoyance in his voice.

"Do what?" Jim asked concernedly.

"It is the second time today you have referred to another man as being '_hot'_," Spock said with disgust.

"You're not jealous are you, Spock?"

"Actually, Jim, I believe I may be." The sip of water Bones had taken came out suddenly, spraying over Jim. His laughter scared away a group of birds. "May I inquire what is so funny, Leonard?"

"You just admitted to feeling something. I'd say that's pretty fucking hilarious, darlin'."

"I am glad I amuse you, Leonard." Spock didn't particularly showing so much emotion, but it was only logical to act freely while with his mates. Bones walked over and ran his hand through the Vulcan's perfectly groomed locks. He leaned over and placed a kiss on his neck.

"Sorry." Spock nodded his head and the tension in his shoulders was released. "Just to let you know, Jim thinking those men are hot is nothing seeing as they are all _dead_," he said, emphasizing the last word and sending a pointed look at Jim.

"_Don't remind me_," Jim groaned, completely ignoring the look. "I wish RDJ could've lived forever! A foursome with him would have been _amazing_." Jim sang the 'amazing', moving his head from side to side. He had sat back down on the ground and began working on fixing the boots. It looked like he had already found the source of the problem and began to fix it. "Bones, come here, I need your fingers."

"I believe that is what she said, Jim." Spock deadpanned. Thankfully this time, Bones' mouth was water free.

"Awesome!" Bones laughed as he went to help Jim. "What d'ya need?"

"I need you to put your fingers on this wire. No, not the-!" Jim was cut off as Bones yelled after he touched the wrong wire and was electrocuted.

"AAAAHHHHH!" Bones pulled his finger back sprinted for the water, thrusting his hand into the cooling relief with a sigh.

"Leonard! Are you injured?" Spock moved swiftly to Bones' side as Jim laughed. "Jim, this is not a cause for amusement! Leonard has been injured." Spock reached McCoy's side and attempted to pull Bones' hand from his mouth. "Behaving as if you are an infant will not help matters, Leonard."

"That is the last time I try to help you, Jim!" Bones cried as he let Spock look at his hand. "It's fine, Spock. I'll take care of it- I am a doctor, after all."

"What about when I get hurt on an away mission? Are you gunna turn me away?" Jim pouted and then laughed as both Bones and Spock threw him identical looks of frustration.

"Maybe."

"Well, that's not nice!"

"Deal with it."

* * *

"And that should _be - it_!" Jim screwed the last thing in, sticking his tongue out in concentration. Bones had wrapped up his hand and sat fifteen feet from where Jim was. "Hey Bones, wanna try 'em out now!" Jim laughed at his face, pulling the boots onto his feet. "Yeah, I figured."

"Shut up, Jim," Bones grumbled, moving to look through his pack for a pain relieving hypo. Not finding one in his pack, he moved to look through Jim's in the hope that the Captain would think of such importance. But what he found was not what he was looking for.

"Whatever. I'm testing these babies out!" And just like that, he was off. He floated ten feet above the water, his eyes bright with amusement. "Scotty is _so_ getting a raise for these!"

"Jim, how about you get the fuck down from there!" Bones bellowed, scowling at his captain. The way he said it was so menacing, that Jim didn't think twice about landing.

"So, I'm thinking Spock should wear these and carry us like the damsels in distress we are." Spock raised his eyebrow and Jim smiled. "Aww, come on, love, humor me?"

"Very well, who shall I carry first?" The Vulcan said, looking at the boots in contemplation.

"Why not both of us at the same time?" Jim shrugged.

"Because that would be stupid, stupid!" Jim shot a questioning glance towards Bones. He was used to the man being grumpy, but he had no idea why he was being so cold.

"What the fuck crawled up your ass and died?"

"Excuse me?" Bones said in disbelief.

"You heard me, Bones. All of a sudden you started acting like a total asshole and this time, I actually didn't do anything to piss you off."

"You're breathing, that pisses me off."

"Leonard!" Spock said, allowing his shock to bleed through into his voice.

"Oh, so you're going to take his side?" Bones yelled, turning on Spock. "Well, fuck you too then!"

"Leonard, I merely-" Spock attempted to back track.

"Just shut up you green-blooded hobgoblin!" He yelled again, not wanting to hear anything.

"Don't call him that!" Jim cried, moving forward in anger. "And don't bring him in this; this is between you and me!"

"I'll involve anyone I want!" Bones said, getting into Jim's face.

"The fuck you will!" Jim shoved Bones shoulders and got shoved in return.

"Keep your hands off me Jim!"

"Then, stop attacking my man!"

"Your man? YOUR MAN! Last time I checked we were all together. When did that change?"

"When you decided you were going to be a fuckstick!"

"You really want to know why I can't stand you right now? Why I want to rip your fucking throat out?"

"Yeah, I do."

"Good." He pulled out a bottle of pills from the satchel in his hands, shaking them to allow the pills inside to rattle accusingly. "What the fuck are these?" Jim blanched, just realizing he had it.

"Nothing," he said, turning away.

"What do you mean nothing? It's obviously something- I'm holding them in my hands!" Bones yelled at Jim, shaking the bottle again. Even Spock looked disturbed.

"Just leave it alone, McCoy!" Jim attempted to snatch the pills back from the doctor who just moved out of reach.

"Jim, this is not a matter that should be left unsolved."

"Yes. This. Is," Jim said through gritted teeth.

"Is there a reason that you have these pills in your possession?" Spock asked.

"Drop it, guys."

"NO! This is serious! You're taking God-knows-what for some high-"

"It's because of Tarsus, you stupid fuck!" Jim screamed at Bones who looked taken a back at the outburst and insult. Bones' face paled as he stared at Jim in horror.

"No." Bones whispered as he moved to touch Jim. Jim flinched and turned to run, breaking into the tree line.

"Tarsus, Leonard?" Spock asked in confusion, looking to Bones in a concerned manner. He knew of Tarsus IV, but did not know the connection between Jim and the failed colony.

"Oh," Bones groaned and held his head in his hands.

"Leonard?"

"They're anti-depressants... And now he doesn't have them... Shit."

"I believe you must make some explanations, Leonard."

"It's not my story to tell, Spock, but I can say that it was something no kid should have ever gone through." They were walking through the forest searching for Jim. "I should have fucking known! What kind of best friend, lover, am I?"

"I believe I am thinking the same of myself, Leonard."

Bones turned to look at Spock sharply. "Don't think like that. The only reason he hasn't told you is because he thinks it makes him a freak and that it would push you away."

"That is illogical."

"Yeah, but it's Jim." They continued in silence, scanning their eyes over the darkened area. "God dammit, he could be hurt and we can't find him! This is all my fault!"

"Leonard, I believe the saying is 'Don't beat yourself up over it'." Bones smiled.

"Thanks Spock."

"You are welcome." Up ahead they heard sniffling, as they got closer they saw Jim sitting around a small fire. His head was bowed and his shoulders shook with every sob. "Perhaps I should approach him first?" Spock said quietly.

"Yeah, that's a good idea." Bones said, hanging back and watching as Spock walked over and sat next to Jim, wrapping him in a strong embrace. He looked at the small fire, noting that they would, in all likelihood, be staying there for some time.

"Would you like to talk about it Jim?"

"Not right now," Jim whispered.

"Very well," Spock accepted, not wanting to push Jim into running away again.

"But, soon. I'll tell you everything soon." He brushed Spock's lips with his own, then turned his head to where he knew Bones was. "You can come out of hiding Bones, I won't bite. . . hard." Sheepishly Bones stepped out of the shadows some wood in his arms.

"I got wood."

"Oh, I bet you do." Bones rolled his eyes, but held his tongue. He had caused too much shit as it was.

"I'm sorry, baby." He dropped the wood near the fire and leant down to kiss Jim's forehead.

"Apology accepted, but you really hurt me you know."

"I know." All Bones could do was sit close to Jim and wrap his own arm around him, brushing Spock's hand in the process.

* * *

Silence reigned in the clearing for several hours before McCoy spoke. "I, uh, I just want you to know how much you mean to me, to Spock, hell, Jim- to everyone."

"You know," Jim spoke as if Bones hadn't. "I don't even need the meds. I got over the whole Tarsus thing a while back."

Bones and Spock exchanged a look. "Jim, it is prudent that you do not lie to us."

"I'm not."

"Jim- we know you, and if you don't want to talk about it, we won't force you to," Bones said, trying to reassure him that there was no pressure coming from either of the men sitting beside him.

Jim searched Bones' and Spock's faces for a few minutes. "I want to talk about- eventually. Especially with you two. You deserve to know."

"It is not a matter of deserving, Jim-"

"It's a matter of whether or not you're comfortable with talking about it."

The look Jim wore on his face helped to relieve the area of tension. "That was awesome..."

"What?"

"Now you two finish each other's sentences? What have I been missing?" Jim crowed as the pair looked indignant.

"We do not-"

"Finish each other's sentences!" Bones and Spock looked at each other. "Shit." Jim just laughed and let the tension roll away.


	11. Chapter 11

DISCLAIMER: see chapter one - I also wanna add that the songs and stuff mentioned are not owned by me and they never will be, sadly.

* * *

Chapter 11

"So, the boots work. Are we going to use them or not?" Jim asked expectantly, looking from the boots to the men next to him.

"I see no other solution, Jim," Spock said resignedly.

"As much as I hate the things," Bones grumbled, "they're our only option right now."

"Then we use them!" Jim stood up and began to walk back to the beach.

"Dammit, Jim, slow down!" Bones yelled, hustling to keep up with the young man. "I don't want to lose you again."

"Then maybe you should speed up old man!" Jim threw over his shoulder.

"I'll show you old man," Bones muttered under his breath and began to run, speeding past Jim like it was nothing. The others watched him pass with amused looks on their faces, not that Spock would ever admit to that.

* * *

When Spock and Jim finally reached the beach, Bones was lounging in the sand with his legs crossed, a cocky smirk on his face. "What's my prize, toddler?"

"Do you really want it now, Grandpa?" Jim said lowly.

"You bet your sweet ass I do!" Jim chuckled at Bones' emphatic answer and went over to his half-forgotten pack. He pulled out a PADD. Bones glared at the sight of the electronic device.

"I thought we were supposed to be 'roughin it'!"

"We are, but I thought that a little music never hurt the cowboys." When he found the song he liked he turned it up as loud as it would go. Spock stood next to Jim, observing the change in attitude that was occurring.

_You let me violate you,  
_

_You let me desecrate you_.

Jim slowly moved his hips to the beat, turning to run his hand along Spock's chest, bringing it up his neck and through his locks, messing them up.

_You let me penetrate you  
_

_You let me complicate you_.

He stood behind him and licked his ear, making him close his eyes and shudder. Looking over Spock's shoulder, Jim stared darkly at Bones, lust glittering within the azure orbs. Bones gulped. After dragging his palm over Spock's ass, Jim grabbed his hand and started a strut towards the doctor.

_(Help me...)  
_

_I broke apart my insides_.

He pushed Spock down next to Bones, still circling his hips; his groin was inches from their faces.

_(Help me...)  
_

_I've got no soul to sell._

He rolled his stomach.

_(Help me...)  
_

_The only thing that works for me  
_

_Help me get away from myself,_

He ran his hands over his body, bringing them down to the hem of his shirt.

_I wanna fuck you like an animal_.

He wrapped his arms around Spock's neck and pulled him in for a kiss.

_I wanna feel you from the inside_.

Now he leaned over to Bones, whispering the words in his ear.

_I wanna fuck you like an animal_.

He turned around and rolled his hips, looking over his shoulder and smiling at the awed looks on their faces.

_My whole existence is flawed_.

He unbuckled his belt, pulled it out of the loops and threw it at Bones.

_You get me closer to God_.

He unbuttoned his jeans and slowly began to pull the zipper down.

"_Enterprise to Captain Kirk. Come in Captain Kirk_!" Bones and Spock may have cried a little when Jim decided to answer the comm.

"Don't-!" Bones was cut off as Jim answered the comm.

"Kirk here!" Jim said cheerily, not allowing any hint of his previous activities to bleed into his answer.

"_Cap'n! Are ye alright?"_ Scotty's voice was a little tinny as he spoke. _"We were a wee bit worried when the storms started to hit, so we decided to check up on ye."_  
Jim threw a look to Spock and Bones, who were looking thoroughly put-out. Bones mouthed 'I hate you', which Spock caught and nodded in agreement. "Storms, Scotty?"

_"Aye! Ion storms... Did ye not have trouble with them, then?" _There was confusion in his voice.

"Nope, but thanks for checking up on us, though. We still gonna meet up with you guys later?"

"_Aye, Cap'n! I cannae wait. Just send us a holler when you're ready."_

"Thanks, Scotty! Kirk out." Jim cut off the connection and was promptly tackled by, of all people, Spock.

"S-Spock?" Jim gasped as Spock kissed his neck and entwined their fingers. When he bit down lovingly, promptly licking the abused area to lessen the pain, Jim's eyes rolled into the back of his head. "Oh, my God."

"Be quiet, Jim," He growled. Jim bit his lip to suppress a groan. Bones could only stare dazedly at his lovers.

"Alright." And quiet he stayed as Spock splayed kisses all over his neck and down to his chest. Occasionally he let out a whimper or a moan. When Spock reached his unbuttoned pants, he stopped momentarily. "What are you doing?" Jim groaned, not wanting the sensations to stop.

"I believe it is unfair to leave Leonard out of this."

Bones groaned Spock managed to untangle himself from Jim and begin to suck his face off. "N-no... Spock!" Bones pushed Spock off of him half-heartedly, not really wanting to, but knowing that there was another who needed to be taken care of more than himself.

Spock pulled back in shock. "Leonard? Are you alright? I apolo-"

Bones cut him off with a harsh and low whisper. "No you, dumbfuck! I was gunna say to just focus on Jim!" Bones whispered. "I'm fine."

Spock nodded and returned to Jim, who had watched the exchange through lust-filled eyes.

"Len? You ok?" Jim asked in concern.

"Oh yeah," Bones said, waving off Jim's concern. "I just discovered that I'm a voyeur, that's all."

Jim laughed lightly. "I knew it."

"Screw you!" Bones laughed.

"Take a number!" Jim's laugh turned into a groan as Spock resumed his exploration of the captain's neck. Soon Spock's lips had trailed down to the neckline of Jim's shirt; that had to go.

"Hey!" Jim cried as Spock ripped the shirt clean in half.

"It was obstructing my view, hence, the removal." Spock managed between kissing and nibbling on Jim's chest.

"And also, now it will never get in our way again! Win-win!" Bones piped in.

"I like the, oh, the, uh, way you guys th-think!" Jim cried as his head fell backwards and his eyes rolled into his head. Soon, however, Spock found himself at Jim's waistline. Pants were now in his way. He pulled back and looked at them, despite Jim's protestations. "_Spock_! Don't stop now! Wait... Hey! _No!_" Spock had gripped Jim's pants and, you guessed it, ripped them off. "Those were my last pair! Ok, that's a lie- but my others are dirty and-_don't even think about it_!" Jim yelled as Spock made to take a hold of Jim's boxers, but it was too late. A tear manifested and turned the pair into two separate pieces.

"I believe the correct word is, 'oops'?" Spock said casually as Bones half laughed and half groaned at the sight of a naked Jim.

"Dammit, Spock! Those _were_ my last pair!" Jim huffed as Spock kissed his abdomen in apology. He was pulled back up by Jim so as to pay attention to his mouth. Jim, half hard already, was delighted to find Spock making his way south again and so he completely ignored Bones when he said his name. Jim's only thought on the matter was that Bones must be enjoying this almost as much as he was.

"Jim! Spock!"

It was Spock who responded first- he heard the panic in Leonard's voice, so he responded between kisses. "Yes... Leonard?"

"We need to leave! Like- now!"

"Why?"

"_Move!_" Bones grabbed the boots and the back of Spock's shirt, attempting to pull him to his feet as the lake exploded behind them. What had been bubbles just seconds ago had turned into a boiling lake, soon turning even more violent.

"What the fuck?" Jim yelled, jumping up and staring, completely forgetting the fact that he had been about to get laid. Out of the water emerged a giant black mass that charged towards the trio, forcing them to turn and run; which they did. For Jim, this was accomplished while being naked. "Hey, Bones!" Jim panted as he ran.

"WHAT?"

"Remember... remember that time... we got... got drunk and ran... across campus... naked?" Jim spoke between breaths.

"_And_?"

"This is... almost the... the same! 'cept... there are... no girls!"

"FUCK... YOU... KIRK!"

* * *

"I would've preferred a cave!" Jim screeched. The men had climbed a tree to get away from the black, scaled creature and were now stuck on the large branches with a deathly whatever it was, circling below. "I think I'm sitting on a pine cone." Whining wasn't Jim's favorite thing to do, but when you're buck ass naked in a one-hundred foot tall tree with a man eating animal chasing you, well, some things are just unavoidable.

"I am sorry I ripped your clothing, Jim," Spock said contritely.

"I'm not, that was hot as hell!" Jim reassured him. He didn't want the Vulcan to think he had done anything wrong, or else he was running the risk of never having the experience repeated. "Although, I have to say our timing sucks!"

"It's karma, Jim," Bones said sadly, shaking his head. "For all the shit we did to those teachers during Academy! 'Member that one time we sent an Orion hooker to that xenolinguistics teacher?" Bones' eyes were closed, so he to see Jim motioning to him to shut up. "He obviously never figured out who did it, dumb ass."

"Was this Orion's name Akala, Leonard?" Spock said in contemplation.

"Yeah," Bones answered not really noticing who had asked him the question until he finished. Jim slapped his forehead, and shook it at Bones' stupidity. "How'd you know that?"

"I believe I am the 'dumb ass' to which you refer, Leonard. Although I must say that she was not bad company to keep," Spock spoke as if sleeping around was natural for him.

"You slept with her! That _whore_!" Bones was serious, which killed Jim, who's laughs had become uncontrollable.

"Yes, Leonard, you were first to say she was a prostitute. Also, I never 'slept' with her-"

"Oh good-"

"As there was no sleep to be had." Jim decided to intervene before it got any worse. Not that he didn't love when Spock joked, but the growling sounds from the ground seemed to be getting closer, and when he looked down he saw the creature had nearly made it half way before falling.

"As funny as this is, we really need to figure out something, because I am too sexy to die!" Jim whined again.

Bones rolled his eyes, but stopped to take in his surroundings. He had nearly forgotten about the boots. "We fly out!"

"But, all our shit is on the beach!" Jim looked down on himself. "I need clothing!"

"Will you stop whining? We'll just have Scotty beam us down new packs when we get to a safer location."

"But-"

"No more 'buts', Jim."

"But-"

"Uh-uh, what did I just say?" Bones said commandingly.

"If it wasn't so demeaning, I'd say you're sexy when you talk to me like that," Jim purred, batting his eyes.

"Shut up. So, who's wearing the boots?" Bones asked.

"As I am far stronger than you both, it would only be logical for me to be the one to wear the boots." They agreed, after all you can't argue logic . . . or Spock's yummy professor voice. He strapped the boots onto his feet and wrapped one arm around each man's waist.

"Why, Mr. Spock, I _do_ declare!" Jim said in a poor attempt at a southern accent.

"Dammit, Jim! That is the worst Georgian accent I have ever heard!" Jim didn't reply as he was cutting off by the whooshing air around them.

However, Bones could have sworn he heard him say. "To infinity, and beyond!"

With an arm around each of his mates, Spock made his way upwards, attempting to find a way out of the mountain. It was proving to be difficult, however, especially when Bones clutched Spock harder and exclaimed, "_No fucking way!"_

"Leonard?" Spock said as he tried to compensate for Bones' sudden movement.

Jim looked down and mimicked Bones' actions, _"For the love of God, Spock! Fly faster!" _

"What is troubling you?" Spock asked in concern.

"_That!"_ Jim gestured with his head down below them where another of those monsters had emerged from the water and was currently flying towards them. "Momma doesn't look happy!"

"Indeed," Spock said and accelerated as he searched for an exit. The creature gained on them as Spock made a decision. "Maintain a firm grip," He commanded as he dropped in altitude - towards the monster.

"_What the fuck are you doing?_" Bones screamed at Spock. Spock didn't answer, just held course as he zigzagged around the thing's snapping jaws and back up the tunnel they had come through in the first place. The flight back up was much easier than the fall down through it.

Spock let out an inaudible sigh as he landed. "You may release me now."

Silence.

"Jim?"

More silence.

"Leonard? Are you two alright?" The two finally let go of Spock.

"Jim's not the only one who needs new pants." Leonard stated.

"_Eww_, Bones! Nasty!" Jim cried as he laughed with relief and amusement, coming out of his moment of shock.

"I'm kidding, moron!" Bones laughed, making a motion to smack the back of Jim's head. "Unlike you, I have been toilet trained."

"That was one time, man!" Jim cried accusingly.

"One time I hope to never repeat."

"Same here."

"Yup."

"Gentlemen," Spock interrupted. "As... pleasant as it is to listen to you both banter, we find ourselves in the same predicament as was several days previously."

"Shit," Bones groaned.

"Ditto," Jim said.

Bones raised an eyebrow. "Really, Jim? More valley girl?"

"No such thing as too much valley girl... If you know what I mean!" Jim waggled his eyebrows.

"I'd say we could try our comm's, but someone left them on the beach!" Jim sent a pointed look at Bones, not that he could see it.

"Well, while you two were busy givin' and receivein' I was busy savin' our asses!"

"It is futile to argue, gentlemen," Spock tried to intercede before an argument arose.

"Fine! I'll be the more mature one and stop while I'm ahead." Surprisingly, Jim was the one to say this. "Well, we never got to see if there was another way out of here, let's keep walking and see where it takes us. Make sure to watch where you're stepping."

"How the hell are we supposed to do that?" Bones yelled, his voice echoing in the confined space. "It's blacker than pitch in here!"

"What does that even mean, blacker than pitch?" Jim asked sarcastically.

"Exactly what it sounds like, Jim."

"But what it sounds like doesn't make sense!"

"Do you have to fight everything, Jim? Can't you just leave well enough alone?"

"There is no such thing as well enough, Bones!"

"Well, I guess that answers my question!"

"I will lead if it will give you comfort, Jim." Jim smiled appreciatively up at Spock.

"Thanks Spock." They continued for what seemed like forever, Bones grumbling about darkness and disease, and Jim humming the same tune over and over again. It was driving the already instable doctor mad.

"Will you stop humming that goddamn song?" Bones finally said.

"I can't, it's stuck in my head. I'd listen to it on my PADD if someone-"

"For the last time I _was saving your ass – literally!"_ Bones had tried to hold in his anger, but he was never any good at that kind of thing.

"Whatever," Jim continued humming the song.

"If I sing it for you will you shut up?" Bones whined.

"Probably not, but it's worth a try!" Jim smiled coyly.

_You can dance if you want to,  
_

_You can leave your friends behind,  
_

_'Cause if your friends don't dance and if they don't dance then they're no friends of mine,  
_

_You can dance  
_

_You can dance  
_

_Everyone safety dance.  
_

Jim cheered, to which Bones blushed. Spock had stopped and stared at them oddly. "That song makes no sense what so ever."

"That's the beauty of it, Spock. You should see the video! It's hilarious!"

"I do not think I want to view this, the last time I allowed you to show me a video it did not turn out well."

"Why? What did he make you watch?" Bones asked curiously.

"A video by the name of 'Two Girls One Cup'. It was quite disturbing and illogical." Spock paused. "Leonard, you must get off the ground - and why are you laughing?"

"I can't believe you showed him that!" Bones howled.

"What can I say? I find sick pleasure out of making people squirm!"

* * *

So, yes, Jim was cock-blocked. Oh well. I enjoy making them suffer, which they will, because I am cruel. HAHAHA - but seriously, it's gunna happen.

REVIEW?


	12. Chapter 12

DISCLAIMER: See chapter one... Not that I own anything else mentioned anyway...

* * *

Chapter 12

The trio continued walking, silence having cropped up after Bones' vocal performance. Jim had taken to walking in between Bones and Spock, having wrapped his arms around himself. The darkness had begun to creep in on him, making him uncomfortable. And because it was so dark, there was no way for Bones to prepare himself for when Jim flipped out. He stopped suddenly, causing Bones to walk into him and send both of them tumbling to the ground. "Jim!" Bones cried out as he wrapped his arms around the struggling form of his captain.

"Let go! Lemme go!" Jim yelled as he flailed around and tried to remove Bones from him. Spock turned around and attempted to help Bones with Jim.

"Jim? Are you alright?" Spock made to grab Jim, but the young captain got up and pushed himself against the wall of the cavern. Bones pushed himself up onto his elbows and looked toward where Jim was.

"Jim... Whatsa matta'?" Bones' speech was slurred a bit seeing as how Jim had punched him in the jaw.

"N-n-nothing! I'm s-s-sorry, B-B-B-Bones. Did- didn't mean t-t-t-to hit you." Jim stuttered his reply.

"Jim?" Bones jumped up and moved quickly towards the form of the captain huddled against the wall. He grabbed him and felt the shivers wracking his body. "Why didn' ya say ya were col'?" His words were still slurring and caused Spock to look at him in concern.

"Leonard?"

"I'm fine, Spo'. Don' worry 'bou' me. We nee' to give Jim sum'ing to kee' 'im warm. I'm fine, so he can ha' my shir'," Bones spoke as he pulled his blue shirt over his head. He still had a black undershirt on to keep himself warm. That still left the problem of pants to give to Jim, but Jim decided for him as he pulled the shirt over his head.

"J-J-Just g-g-g-give me your b-b-b-boxers, B-B-Bones. I'll b-b-be f-f-fine." Bones nodded, even though it couldn't be seen and removed his pants and boxers, giving the shorts to Jim and putting his own pants back on. Spock was indignant and a little insulted.

"Is there a problem with my clothing?"

"No, Spo'!" Bones said in surprise. "Why? Are you ha'ing issues wi' it?"

"Not presently. I am only wondering as to why you did not require anything from me." The tone of voice that Spock directed at Bones was not truly angered, but more disappointed.

"I didn' ta' anything from ya becau' I know tha' Vulca's get col'er tha' humans. You nee' to stay war' 'oo." Bones' logic placated Spock.

"Will you not get cold, Leonard?"

"I'll be fi'. The col' doesn' botha me."

* * *

"Jim, we've gotta keep movin'," Bones said for the sixth time in the last three hours. They had been walking steadily for quite some time without a rest and Jim had been losing ground ever since his fit.

"I d-don't know if I c-can B-bones. 'm 's tired." Jim's head bobbed from exhaustion and the stuttering had returned.

"Jim, you-"

"I will carry him, Leonard." Without Bones' permission Spock scooped Jim into his arms and continued forward. Jim was asleep within minutes.

"You can't just carry him around forever, Spock. This cold is only going to get worse!"

"The health of my Captain comes before any of my needs. He is ill and I will not allow for it to progress." The note of finality in his voice shut up the older man. They continued on for what seemed like forever, even for Spock who would pride himself on his patience. Jim shivered every once and a while, but usually just snuggled closer into Spock, who was beginning to feel the chill. Beside him, Bones' eyes were becoming heavy from lack of fresh air and sunlight. When he stumbled, Spock just barely caught him with one arm.

"I don't think I can go any further," Bones mumbled. "I'm so tired."

"You must try, Leonard." Spock noticed the doctors head roll to the side and knew he had passed out. Jim was just conscious enough to hear Spock ask him to get onto his back. "Make sure to hold on securely, Jim." All he received was a mumble in return. After walking for a few more hours, Spock knew he wasn't going to be able to hold out much longer. He rested for a moment, basking in the warm breeze that was blowing against his skin. At this thought his head jolted up. "Breeze!" He knew it was illogical to speak to himself, but he was too consumed by relief to really care. Up ahead a light had glittered in the sallow cave and his pace increased upon seeing it. The sun and warmth wrapped around him, and if he were not Vulcan he would have been smiling. Hours later Bones was first to wake to the warmth of a fire and the twinkling of stars in the sky.

"We made i' ou'," he gasped softly.

"Indeed." Spock brought over a makeshift plate- a flat stone- with some type of fruit on it. Bones stared at it warily. "Do not worry, it is edible." Bones took a bite and nearly died at how good it tasted.

"It almos' tas'es li'e a Geor'ia pea'."

"I do not believe I have ever tasted a Georgia peach, Leonard."

"I taste 'em all the time Spock," came Jim's voice from his spot on the ground. "In fact, just blow Len and you'll know what I mean." Bones growled and Spock raised his eyebrow. Even in his condition Jim was still able to crack jokes.

They lay in the light of the sun for several hours, in no hurry since Spock claimed that the sun was in such a position so as to suggest that it was early morning. They napped and ate the fruit that Spock had found.

"We shou' proba'ly mo'e." Bones was still swollen, his words still funky and causing Jim to straighten up.

"Hey-Bones, I'm wicked sorry. How's your mouth?" Jim winced as Bones glared at him.

"S'fine, 'im. Ne'er be'er!"

"You astound me, Leonard."

Bones and Jim looked in awe at Spock. He did just admit to an emotion, after all. "How so, Spo'?"

"Even with an injury to your mouth, you still manage your normal level of sarcasm. It is quite impressive."

Jim laughed as Bones huffed and turned around. They lapsed back into silence as Bones' mouth began to lessen in the swelling. Around midday, the swelling was pretty much gone and it was decided that they would begin to hike up the mountain again. After a couple of hours, still being nowhere near the summit, Bones spotted something.

"Look!"

"No!" Jim cried and grabbed Bones' hand to stop him from pointing up the mountain and putting his other hand over Bones' mouth.

"Jim, what is the meaning of this?"

"Every time Bones says 'look', something bad happens... I'm not taking that chance again!"

Bones jerked out of Jim's grasp as Spock raised an eyebrow. "Fine! You can stay here! But, I'm going to see what is in that house." Bones marched on ahead of the pair, leaving a confused Jim behind.

"Did he just say house?"

"He did indeed."

* * *

The house was dilapidated, looking as though it hadn't been lived in for several decades. The roof was collapsing and there were no doors or glass in the windows. Jim saw Bones through one of the windows as he made his way around the house. "Be careful, Bones! That house looks like shit!" Jim called to the doctor. He heard an affirmative as Bones continued his search. Several minutes later, he emerged with a few items. "What'dya find, oh-scavenger?"

"Here are some clothes for ya." Bones tossed a shirt and a pair of pants to Jim, who managed to catch them. "I also found some old radio equipment, an old flashlight, and a guitar."

"Is there a specific reason that we would require a guitar, Leonard?" Spock asked.

"Dude! Spock hasn't heard you play!" Jim yelled as he got his head stuck in the shirt.

"You play?" Spock said, looking at Bones with interest.

"Yeah, a little..." Bones said modestly as he looked at the instrument, a light blush coloring his cheeks.

"Bones, don't be modest!"

"Dammit man! I'm a doctor, not a rock star!" Bones looked at Jim sharply.

"No, you're a doctor and a rock star... Although, country is more your _thang_!"

"You are an ass, Jim."

"No, I have an ass, a nice one too. Not to toot my own horn or anything... Now that I say that, I kinda wish I could toot my own horn- if you know what I mean!" Jim laughed as Bones groaned and Spock re-raised his eyebrow.

"Fascinating."

The trio gathered more materials for the night- food, blankets, water, and firewood. After starting the fire and eating, Jim turned to Bones. "Alright, man - time to ante up!"

"Jim..." Bones whined in complaint. Jim thrust the guitar in his direction while Spock looked on.

"I, too, must admit to desiring to hear you play, Leonard."

Bones looked at Spock in surprise. He had a look of earnest curiosity on his face and Bones couldn't deny him this one time. "Fine, but only because you asked so nicely. What d'ya want me to play?"

"Seeing as Jim has heard you play previously, he should make the decision."

"You know what I like, Bones!"

"That I do, Jim, that I do..." Bones tuned the guitar with a smile on his face, then, before playing, turned to Spock. "You might not like this song, but remember - you did let Jim pick."

He strummed the guitar and began the song.

_When you came in the air went out.  
_

_And every shadow filled up with doubt.  
_

_I don't know who you think you are,  
_

_But before the night is through,  
_

_I wanna do bad things with you._  
Bones played the guitar solo and Jim hummed along. Spock had not realized that Leonard was capable of such talent, although his ability to play guitar was understandable- he was a top surgeon, talented hands, as Jim would say.

I'm the kind to sit up in his room.

Heart sick an' eyes filled up with blue.

I don't know what you've done to me,

But I know this much is true:

I wanna do bad things with you.

_When you came in the air went out.  
_

_And all those shadows there filled up with doubt.  
_

_I don't know who you think you are,  
_

_But before the night is through,  
_

_I wanna do bad things with you.  
_

_I wanna do real bad things with you._

_Ow, ooh._

I don't know what you've done to me,

But I know this much is true:

I wanna do bad things with you.

I wanna do real bad things with you.

The final chord was played and Bones looked up at his audience.

"I must admit, I am rather impressed." Once more Bones and Jim were shocked by Spock's admittance of feelings. "I also play an instrument."

"Both my guys are rock stars? This is awesome!" Jim crowed excitedly.

"So, what do you play?" Bones asked with curiosity.

"A lyre. It is not as impressive as the guitar-"

"Are you kidding! Lyres are amazing!" Spock blushed slightly, but caught Bones' eyes and they both gasped slightly.

"You guys are so HAWT!" And there goes Jim to ruin the moment.

"Yeah Jim, we know."

"No, I don't think you do. I love you guys. Everything about you is perfect-" He started to tear up.

"Jim, you were just happy a second ago, what's going on?" Bones asked in poorly concealed exasperation.

"You guys are so awesome and talented, and I'm just a fucked up loser."

"You are not a loser, you're the youngest-"

Jim cut Bones off. "Starfleet Captain, I know. But that's only because I have you two to help me along. I'm worthless!"

"Jim, please stop this nonsense. If it were not for you, we would all be dead." It disturbed Spock to hear Jim be so harsh on himself when there was no need.

"If it weren't for me those kids wouldn't be dead!" The flood gates opened up, tears streaming from his cerulean eyes. "They told me to watch them, and I did, but they wouldn't listen to me! A few made it out though, I don't know where they are, could be dead now for all I know." It was a heart wrenching sight; the usually lively captain was so fragile. At the same moment, Bones and Spock pulled him into an embrace. He sobbed, cocooned in the arms of his lovers.

"Jim, it is alright."

"Yeah, babe, calm down." Bones and Spock knew what he was talking about, even though they had minimal information. Jim fell asleep in their arms. "He's really screwed up from Tarsus. We need to help him."

"I agree Leonard." They put their foreheads together and shut their eyes. Bones sighed.

"I love you both so much."

"As we love you, Leonard." They lay down, Jim still encased in their arms, and fell asleep.

Jim dreamed that night of fields caught fire and the screams of the dying. He saw children with burns run from him and though he tried to follow and call to them, he couldn't catch them.

He cried out and threw out his arms at the fleeing refugees, but to no avail. In reality, Jim thrashed in his sleep, awakening Bones and Spock.

"Jim!" Bones cried as he was tossed away from Jim with a yell. Spock jolted awake and looked, startled, at his lovers. Bones crawled back to Jim with concern in his eyes. "Jim?"

"A nightmare, Leonard?" Spock asked in concern.

"Probably. We need to wake him up!" Bones made to grab Jim's shoulders and start shaking him awake. Spock stopped him with a hand on his arm. "What, Spock? We need to wake him!"

"Perhaps there is another way."

"What?"

"A way that could rid him of his problems for good."

"_Yes_?" Bones was getting impatient as he looked from Jim to Spock and back again.

"A mind meld would be useful."

"NO! You are not using that Vulcan mind-voodoo on Jim!" Bones became defensive at the thought of someone invading Jim's mind.

"Leonard, it would have a minimal probability of harming him, even if that were my intention." Spock attempted to explain without any indication that he felt insulted. But the doctor was smarter than credited.

"Spock, I know you don't have any intention of harming Jim. That would be just moronic. I'm just worried that the meld will have adverse side effects on him... Especially after what happened with Spock Prime..." Bones stated, whispering the last part. Spock noted what the doctor said, not understanding what he meant, but deciding to question the two men later.

"It is the best plan, Leonard. We both desire the health of our captain and our love. This will just be a means to an end."

Bones thought it over, nodding as he conceded to Spock's logic. "Fine..."

"Thank you." Spock placed his fingers on the meld points of Jim's face. "My mind to your mind, my thoughts to your thoughts..." And so the meld was initiated.

* * *

Jim's mind was not quite like Spock had imagined, not that he would admit he had thoughts about the brilliance of his captain's- his lover's mind. It was dark and depressing; images of the dying, the dead, flittered in and out of focus so fast that Spock almost couldn't catch them. He felt the fear, the pain, the failure, as if it were his own, and his eyes stung from suppressed tears. Reaching deeper he found the light he was looking for.

_Jim, I require your attention. I am here to help you; to make the pain go away. Will you allow me?_

_Are you in my head Spock? _Spock could sense Jim's familiarity with mind melds- the type of familiarity that would insinuate he had already experienced one. It was something Spock refused to believe.

_Jim, that would be imp-_

_You know what I meant. Are you?_

_I have initiated a simple meld in order to help you. _

_I don't need help, Spock. Any pain I receive I deserve._

_You must know that is not true._

_How would you know? You didn't live it! You weren't there! _His thoughts were angry, but also broken.

_I have seen your dreams, Jim. I have even seen your thoughts. It is understandable that you felt helpless, but you were just barely a teen, unable to care for yourself fully. Kodos is the only one in the wrong. _

Jim flinched slightly, but smiled ruefully. _I think that is the most human you have ever sounded, babe. _

_There is no need to insult me, James. _

_Ouch, the full name._

_This is beside the point, will you accept my help or not? _Jim thought about it; really thought about it. He would gain nothing by keeping the pain within himself and he would lose nothing by being freed of it. Spock saw his decision before Jim himself even knew. _This will only take a moment, Jim._

_Be gentle, I'm delicate. _And for the first time ever, Jim felt Spock smile. It may have been the beautiful colors that that near laughter brought or Spock's "voo-doo" mind tricks, but within seconds Jim felt as if a weight had been lifted off his chest. _Oh, that's so much better! But, now I'm sleepy. _Jim mentally yawned.

_Indeed. _Just as fast as he had arrived, Spock had vanished. He slowly opened his eyes to a very anxious Bones, whose arched eyebrow was question enough. "All is well, Leonard. Now I must rest, as should you." They lay back down, Jim once more cushioned between them, falling asleep as soon as their heads hit the ground.

* * *

So here is another chapter, and once again, Bones got beat on and not in a good way. I realize that there was a random house on the planet, but whatever - you can think up your own idea of why it was there. I figured it was an OLD Starfleet outpost or something.

We have almost reached the end of this amazing camping trip, so leave a review!


	13. Chapter 13

DISCLAIMER: See chapter one...

* * *

Chapter 13

Jim awoke well rested. He remained laying with his eyes shut and stretched a bit before sitting up. The remains of the fire were still burning, but there was no one around. Spock and Bones were gone. A sense of longing came over him and Jim felt lonely. "Bones? Spock?" Jim called and a crash and muffled curse came from the house as a response. Dust billowed out from the doorway as the roof collapsed almost completely and Bones threw himself out of the house.

"Holy. Fuck," he coughed, turning to look back at the building.

"Bones! Are you ok?" Jim cried, jumping up and running to the doctor. Bones looked up at Jim with a look of concern and love etched onto his face.

"I should be asking you that, Jim. How are you feeling?" Bones said, making his way to the captain.

"Fine! I'm sorry about last night, though," Jim apologized as he pulled Bones back to his feet and tried to dust him off.

"Don't worry about it. And don't bother trying to clean me- I gotta go right back in."

"Why? The place looks like it's gonna come down any second! The roof has basically totally caved in!" Jim gesticulated wildly in the house's direction.

"Spock is gunna rig up a communicator, but he needs a couple of other parts to make it work. And right now he is off hunting for food because, as he puts it, it is illogical for a human to hunt when there is a stronger individual with superior reflexes available," Bones stated the last with a grimace, which worsened when Jim laughed. "What's so funny?"

"Bones! He wants to provide for us... Like a good man!"

"Well, when he makes me an honest man, _then_ he can provide for me!" Bones threw over his shoulder as he made his way into the house again.

"I'm telling him you wanna get married!" Jim laughed as he yelled to Bones.

"Shut up, Jim! Go rest, you ass!" Bones called back.

"I love you too, dear!" Bones didn't answer, but Jim thought he heard a laugh come from the house. He returned to the fire pit and sat down, waiting for Spock to return. He did, fifteen minutes later with some weird looking creatures.

"How did you catch those, Spock?" Jim asked curiously.

"I first lured them to a designated area and once there, proceeded to grab their-"

"You know what?" Jim held up a hand. "Lemme stop you right there. I'm just gonna accept that you did catch them and let that end it... I don't need to know."

Spock raised his eyebrow, but said nothing more on the subject. He searched Jim's face for any signs of being unwell, finding none. If anything, Jim looked better than ever before. "How are you this morning, Jim?"

"Great."

"That is... good," Spock nodded, then turned to look back at the structure behind him. "I presume that Leonard remains searching the house?"

"Yup, although I have to say that I don't feel comfortable with it."

"Indeed?" Spock looked at Jim questioningly, Jim stared at the house.

"Yeah ... The roof basically collapsed completely this morning and it looked like he just made it out in time..."

Spock looked sharply at the structure, as if seeing it for the first time. "And he returned despite the danger to himself?" Spock said angrily as he went over to the house. He made his way in through the doorway and as he pushed a beam out of his way, a voice shouted to him from deeper in the building.

"No, Spock!"

And then the whole thing came down in front of Spock's face.

* * *

"Bones!" Jim screamed. Spock was covered in dust, but it didn't faze him. He began to tear through the rubble of the collapsed building, taking only a few minutes to reach the unconscious doctor. Once he had gotten them out of the wreckage he placed Bones on the ground checking his pulse and scanning him for any serious injury. Jim knelt beside them, feeling for anything they couldn't see- like the gash on the back of his head. "Fuck, he's really bleeding, Spock." Tears were in his eyes.

"Jim, you must be calm. Everything will be fine." He was about to retort, but Spock stopped him. "It will do no good arguing Jim." He nodded and looked back down at Bones.

"What do we do; we don't have anything to help him." Spock took off his uniform shirt. "That's dirty, it will get infe-"Spock raised his eyebrow- a look that said I am not stupid- and went to take off his undershirt a held it to the wound. If it was any other time Jim would have marveled at his first officer's sculpted chest.

"Apply pressure, we must apply pressure." Spock was talking to himself, something he never did. Jim allowed himself to smile just a little because Spock was showing his worry. Below them Bones began mumbling. "Leonard, if you can hear me open your eyes." His lids opened slightly, but fluttered closed soon after. "You must open them fully, Leonard. As a doctor you know that I must see whether or not you are concussed."

"I'm hurt and you still lecture me." Dark eyes glared up at Spock- who allowed a blindingly beautiful smile to breach his face. Spock leaned down and kissed his forehead, sighing when his lips met his skin. "I think I hit my head too hard because I know Spock did not just smile." Jim, who had stood flabbergasted, spoke.

"You're not delusional, he just smiled. I think I just fell even more in love." He swooned, but only a little.

"I hear ya!" Bones said, sitting up slowly so that he didn't pass out. When he saw Spock's state of undress, however, he almost fell right back down. "And he's shirtless. If I didn't have a huge gash on my head I would say this is the best day ever." Spock had ignored the whole interaction.

"Are you sure you are alright Leonard? Your eyes seem dilated."

"That could be because you're making him all hot and bothered. Hey Bones, are my eyes dilated, too?" He leaned in really close to Bones so that their noses were touching. Bones just raised his eyebrow in reply, but a look at the azure eyes showed that they were in fact dilated. He brought his hand to the wound. For all the blood it really wasn't that deep.

"I'll be fine, Spock, head wounds always bleed the most. It's really only a scratch," Bones tried to assuage the Vulcan's worry by downplaying the wound. "I'm kind of worried about having a concussion though, so one of you will have to make sure I don't fall asleep, at least right now anyway."

"Oh, I think we can handle that." Jim said with a tiny hint of a Southern drawl. Automatically Bones knew what he was quoting.

"Dammit, Jim, my head's already spinning as it is without you quoting Twilight!"

"I'm _fine_!" Bones pushed Spock's hands away... again. "Look-"  
"Uh-uh!" Jim thrust out a hand as if to stop Bones from saying "the word". Bones plowed on, regardless.

_"Look_, I will tell both of you at the first sign of a problem. Alright?"

Jim and Spock looked at each other. Bones looked back and forth between them, causing his head to throb behind his eyes, but he paid it no mind.

"Fine, Bones. But the _first_ sign of trouble-"

"Breathing, headaches, nausea-"

"You _tell_ one of us. Got it?" Jim and Spock looked at Bones with identical looks of worry on their faces.

"This is fucking ridiculous! I'm a doctor, not a child, dammit! I _don't_ need a babysitter!"

"Not _a_ babysitter, Bones. Babysitter_s_!"

"Dammit, Jim!"

"Just promise me, Bones." Jim crouched down in front of the doctor, looking worriedly into his face. He grabbed his head between hi hand, as if in reassurance that Bones was, in fact, alive and with him. "Please, Leonard?"

Bones started at that, Jim _never_ called him by his given name. "Yeah, Jim. Of course," he agreed and relief passed across his lovers' faces.

"Good." Spock looked around the campsite for a minute, finally deciding on a course of action. "I shall attempt to recreate a working radio in the hopes of contacting the Enterprise for supplies. Leonard, it would be best if you remained here and relaxed."

Bones agreed and lay back. "You can't forget, though. Don't lemme fall asleep for at least six hours. Spock, you like to pretend you have a medical license enough that you'll be able to tell if I'm in serious need of medical attention."

"Of course, Leonard. You do not have to worry; we will take care of you."

"I'm not worried- I know you will."

* * *

The first hour went well, Bones and Jim talked- well, Jim talked and the others listened as he regaled them with stories of his exploits, despite the fact that either both of his lovers had been present or one of them were there. Jim continued in the hopes of keeping Bones engaged.

"So then he go- Wait!" Bones jumped and Spock looked sharply at Jim as he interrupted his own sentence.

"Jim?" Spock asked in worry.

"I just remembered!" Jim said with a look of evil pleasure directed at the doctor. "Bones said he wanted to get married!"

Bones gaped at the captain and Spock looked curiously at the two.

"Fascinating."

"I know, right?" Jim said to Spock. "He was all like, 'Spock's gotta make me an honest man... Dammit!'."

"That's not what I said and you know it, James Kirk!"

"Oooh- the full name... That's kinky, Bones. Say it again!"

"You're taking it out of context, dammit!" Bones ignored Jim and looked pleadingly at Spock.

"Leonard, if you wanted to get married, all that was required was for you to ask."

Bones and Jim stared stupefied at Spock. It didn't last long as Jim began to laugh.

"Oh you two are just the _worst_ kind of people!" Bones huffed, crossing his arms and turning from the pair quickly. A flash of pain lanced through Bones' head and he saw stars for a second. But he chose to ignore them, in favor of maintaining the light and easy conversation the three were having.

"Ahh, Bones! We love you, too!" Jim laughed as he draped an arm over Bones' shoulders. He turned the doctors' head and kissed him quickly. "Now, then. I'm gonna help Spock finish with that radio. I'm kinda getting sick of sitting in someone else's clothes. It's a little weird."

"It wasn't weird when you were wearing my clothes, Jim?" Bones asked in amusement, trying to cover up his discomfort.

"Nope! You're clothes smell nice and like you! These clothes are scratchy and definitely don't smell like you, or Spock!"

Bones laughed and Spock raised his eyebrow, but returned to his work along with Jim's help. Another hour passed in which Jim and Spock grew even more concentrated on the device they were attempting to salvage, and Bones tried to clean out his hair and remain lucid.

"See, if we connect this wire here..."

"Yes, but we would then have to bypass that circuit there."

"Duh, but this thing can't need it. Let's just take-"

Bones finally got fed up with the blood matting his hair. No amount of picking at it would remove the dried blood. "I'm gonna go wash my hair, guys."

"Mmm-hmmm..." Jim waved a hand towards Bones, but did not actually acknowledge him. Spock remained focused on the radio.

"Fine, whatever," Bones grumbled as he walked into the woods. "It's nice to know I've been replaced by a radio!"

* * *

Jim and Spock worked for a quite a while arguing over where to put what and such. Never once did they realize Bones had left the camp site, and never once did they think that something bad could happen to him. So when Jim looked up to tell Bones that they were almost finished and all he saw was an empty log where the doctor had sat, there was of course a bit of panic. "_Oh my God! Bones is gone! Where could he have gone?_" He started searching frantically under rocks and behind trees. Spock could only raise his eyebrow to this. Quickly Jim turned to Spock. "What if he's been eaten by a ravenous dinosaur like Jorge? This is all your fault for not paying attention!"

"Jim, there is no need to place blame. Perhaps he had to go to the bathroom." Jim nodded his head in contemplation when he heard a loud yelp of pain. "Bones!" And like a modern day superman, he was off, Spock trailing close behind. When they reached the doctor they were so far in they weren't able to see the camp. Bones stood stalk still next to a large tree; his knuckles white from how tightly he clutched the bark. Five feet away from him was an enormous spider -the size of Admiral Archer's prized beagle. When Bones saw Jim and Spock he cried out in relief.

"It's about goddamn time! This thing has been staring at me for ten minutes! It's fucking huge!" Normally Jim would have inserted a 'that's what she said' but he was having trouble breathing at the moment. His whole body was trembling as he attempted to back away from the monster, but found himself against a tree and drawing the attention of the other two men.

Bones managed to speak first, concern lacing his voice. "Jim, are you alright? You don't look so good."

"Indeed, Jim you seem to have paled considerably." Tears streaming down his face were an even bigger cause for concern. Spock grabbed him to steady his shaking. "Jim?"

"S-spider's. . . terrified . . . c-can't b-b-b-breathe."

"Shit, Spock, he's hyperventilating!" It had seemed that everyone had forgotten about the spider, well, everyone except for Jim who hadn't taken his eyes off of it.

"S-spider... kill... now!" Bones had managed to shuffle his way slowly towards his men without startling the spider.

"Deal with it, Spock. You're the man in this relationship anyway." When it looked like Spock was about to protest, Bones raised an eyebrow. "I have a concussion remember, don't want me hurting myself any more now, do you?" Spock nodded and turned back to the eight-legged creature.

"It's gonna e-eat him!" Jim cried, watching Spock move away.

"Jim, that's ridiculous!" Bones said with a snort.

"Ugh." He shivered once more, completely grossed out by the arachnid that he could no longer see. "Where is it? Is it dead?" Spock reappeared, his hands covered in a gooey substance.

"Does that answer your question Jim?" The younger man just shrugged and took the hand that Bones had offered him.

"Let's get back to camp, see if the radio works, maybe eat something?"

"Uh, yeah, sure," Jim said distractedly, continuously looking over his shoulder to make sure nothing was following him. Every once and a while a shiver would rack his body. When he head Bones chuckle he looked at him curiously.

"Never thought I'd see the day Captain Awesome was afraid." All he received in return was a punch to the arm.

"You know, it's not good to hit a man suffering from a concussion," Bones said to Jim as they huddled around the radio.

"Yeah, well, it's not good to harass a man suffering from arachnophobia," Jim shot back at Bones.

"We should look into this more deeply, Jim." Bones leaned back and put a hand to his chin as he regarded the captain. "I know your childhood history, Captain Kirk, but tell me... Did you have a crush on your mother?"

"_Dammit Jim!_" Jim lunged for the doctor, causing Bones to laugh and Spock to intervene swiftly.

"Jim, I must request that you and Leonard cease your actions. It is prudent to remember that Leonard does still have a concussion and any jostling may have... undesired... outcomes."

Jim looked horrified for a moment. "Fuck, I can't- how did I forget? Jesus, Bones, you shoulda said something!"

"Ah, well, I'm alright. I'm a doctor, I know my limits. But Spock is right- however, we are not finished here, Captain."

"I believe we are, Freud!" Jim retorted. Spock sat back, satisfied at the end to the semi-conflict and started up the radio.

"You sure this thing's gunna work?" Bones asked skeptically as he eyed the antique machinery.

"Oh ye of little faith! Remember who you're talking to here!" Jim crowed as he picked up the mic. "Kirk to Enterprise... Kirk to Enterprise..."

The other two sat with bated breath.

* * *

So, some more torturing for Bones, cause I am just that mean. But I do like protective!Jim/Spock, not gunna lie.


	14. Chapter 14

DISCLAIMER: See chapter one.

Here is the second to last chapter. Enjoy!

* * *

Chapter 14

"_Kirk! It's been too long laddy! Are ye alright down there_?" Scotty's voice was such a relief to hear.

"We're a little haggard, but otherwise good," Jim replied with a relieved voice. "We were wondering if you could beam down three more packs full of clothes, a tent-"

"I thought we were roughin' it, Jim!" Bones piped up, indignantly.

"I decided I would be nice, seeing as you're hurt and all." Jim continued with the list of things they needed while Bones turned to Spock snickering softly.

"I bet it's because he doesn't want any spiders to get him."

"I heard that asshole!" Then speaking back into the radio he said. "Oh, and can you send down a couple phasers and communicators." He tried his best to whisper the request into the radio, but Bones and his super hearing still heard.

Bones laughed loudly. "A phaser ain't gonna save you from spiders, you pussy!" Jim's cheeks flushed, but he said nothing instead throwing the chuckling doctor the finger over his shoulder.

"_Sure Cap'n, but what happened to all yer things_?" Scotty sounded awfully amused.

"It's a long story. Maybe we'll tell you when we meet up in a couple of days."

"_I cannae wait, I cannae wait."_ The Scotsman chuckled darkly. "_Here ye are gents. Enjoy the rest of yer time and see ye soon!_" Before them three packs materialized.

"All the stuff you need is the blue pack Bones, I made sure they put every kind of anti-venom." Bones snickered. "And medication is in there. We should be set." When Bones pulled out a bottle of bug spray he couldn't stop laughing for nearly five minutes.

Spock made his way to Bones' pack and relieved him of his tricorder. "Hey! I was using that!"

"On yourself, Leonard?" Spock raised his eyebrow and then set to work scanning Bones' head. "The occipital lobe has suffered from bruising. It would be best if you did not engage in strenuous activities for a time, Leonard." Spock pulled out some sterile wrappings and began to cover Bones' head with it, covering the injury, which was still bleeding sluggishly.

"Tell me something I don't know," Bones huffed in irritation.

"No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver or purple," Spock said casually. Bones and Jim just stared at him.

"Why do you know that?" Bones asked, incredulously.

"Is there a reason to not know this fact?"

"Uh- yeah! Because it is totally random!" Bones exclaimed while Jim laughed loudly. "I'm surrounded by wack-jobs."

"Wack-jobs, Leonard?" Spock said with a raised eyebrow.

"Yeah, Spock, wack-jobs!" Bones threw up his hands, grabbed his pack and began walking.

"Ahh, man! I love this..." Jim sighed and Spock did not roll his eyes as the pair made to follow Bones.

* * *

They were within a day's hike to the summit by the time they settled into a particularly serene area to set up camp. Happily they sat around the fire eating their meals: a salad for Spock and beans and hot dogs for Jim and Bones. "This is disgusting. Hot dogs are an abomination and should be outlawed!" Bones growled.

"Your face should be outlawed!" Jim leaned away from Bones' fist laughing. "Just kidding, but seriously! Hot dogs are delicious. I don't know what you're talking about man."

"They are the worst thing anyone could possibly eat." To this Jim just shrugged.

"Would you like some of my salad Leonard? It does not have the 'dressing' that so many like, but I believe it is excellent."

"Thanks Spock, but I'm honestly not really hungry anyway. I think I'm just going to go to bed."

"You're going to have to wait," Jim said between a mouthful of beans. "We haven't put the tent up yet."

"I think I can put up a tent by myself Jim, I'm not that needy." Bones scowled at the captain.

"Fine, suit yourself." Jim shrugged and sat back to watch.

After 10 minutes of struggling, with his head beginning to throb in the spot where he was hit, Bones finally gave in and asked for help. "Jim, could ya give me a hand?" He was tired and a headache was forming.

Jim smiled, slapping his knees as he got up. "I'd be glad do, sugarplum."

Bones grimaced, both from pain and from the nickname. "Don't call me that it makes me sound like a fairy!"

"Exactly!" While Bones thought up a comeback, Jim had set up the tent and was laying out the sleeping bags.

"How the hell did you manage that so fast?" He said bewildered.

"I've done this once or twice, back in Iowa. When your parents are constantly fighting, it feels good to get out of the house as much as possible."

Bones looked down shamefully. "Sorry."

"Nah, don't be. I learned a lot about life in those times."

"Oh, yeah, like what?"

"Like, although chicks can be hot, guys give the best head." At the look on the doctors face Jim burst out laughing.

"What is 'head'?" Spock titled his head slightly in question. Jim just laughed harder.

Jim continued to laugh and smile as he helped Bones put their packs into the tent. It wasn't overly large, but there was enough room inside the structure for the trio to stand up or lay down comfortably. Not that that would be the case.

"Ya'll set there, Bonesy?" Jim drawled.

"Go to hell, Jim... And take your shitty accent with ya!" Bones set up his sleeping bag and curled underneath the covers. Jim laughed again and returned to the fire, sitting next to Spock.

"We're lucky it's so nice out, huh?" Jim commented to Spock as he lay back and stared at the stars.

"I am inclined to agree, Jim." Spock set down what was left of his salad and stared at Jim in a curious manner. "Might I enquire about your comment earlier, Jim?"

The young captain looked up into the face of his love. "You mean about me camping out?"

"Affirmative."

"Of course, Spock. What do you wanna know? Although, I gotta tell ya, not very interesting."

"How often did you find yourself having to leave your home, Jim?"

Jim was silent, staring at Spock before answering. "You gotta _have_ a home to _leave_ a home, Spock."

Spock drew back a little. "Jim?"

"At the house I wasn't anything other than George Kirk's replacement. That's all anyone ever saw... When Frank and my mom would fight- no matter what it was about- I would just leave. At first I didn't have a tent, and even after I got one, I liked being able to see the sky better than being cramped up in a tent." Jim grew thoughtful. "I guess it ended up being that the stars just made me feel like, it was open... Everything was open and I could leave when I felt like it."

"I had not realized you felt this way, Jim."

"Well, it's not your fault. I had absolutely no intentions of joining Starfleet until Pike comes in and 'dares' me! How ridiculous is that? A dare..." Jim shook his head, laughing softly.

"It worked, did it not?"

"Yeah," Jim said, rolling over to face Spock. "Yeah, it did. And I owe him my life, for that."

"Admiral Pike? For what reason?"

"Spock... If I hadn't met Pike, I wouldn't have met Bones and then you," Jim smiled softly and shook his head. "My life would not be the same and that would just suck."

"I agree, Jim."

The pair lay in companionable silence until Jim yawned and Spock decided it was time to sleep. They retired to the tent and took up the spots on the floor. Jim in the middle surrounded by his loves.

* * *

Morning dawned to find Spock and Jim curled around each other, Bones having somehow removed himself from the pair. Jim woke to a sticky feeling around his head. He sat up quickly.

"Ok, I know we didn't do anything last night, so what gives?" Jim said to Spock as the Vulcan sat up.

"Jim? Is there a problem?"

"Yeah, I woke up and there-"

"Are you injured, Jim?" Spock asked sharply, looking at and grabbing Jim's hands.

"No, why-?" Jim looked at his hands and gasped. They were covered in blood. "What happened?"

"I should be asking you that question. When were you injured?"

"I wasn't! The only one who has been hurt lately was..." Jim turned in horror to the doctor. "...Bones!"

Leonard was lying in a small pool of his own blood, the sticky red liquid having come from the cut on his head.

"Why wasn't this taken care of?" Spock asked coldly as he deftly grabbed the doctor and took him outside, Jim following with Bones' med kit.

"I don't know! He never mentioned any problems!"

The pair worked frantically to stem the bleeding.

"He is a doctor, yet he does not take care of himself?"

"He worries, Spock... His patients mean more to him than anything, so he gives them priority over everything else..." Jim tried to keep Spock from putting too much anger into his views of Bones, but even he could see the problem that had arisen.

"Including himself?"

Jim sighed. "It seems so..."

They finally stopped the bleeding; there was so much lost that Bones was deathly pale. Jim felt for his pulse every few seconds just to make sure his heart was still beating. "God dammit, Bones. When you wake up I'm going to kill you!" Spock's steady hands faltered at Jim's empty threat. He looked up from the stitching to eye Jim curiously. Jim rolled his eyes humorlessly.

"You know I won't kill him, it's just a saying. Now pay attention, god dammit, our future husbands life is on the line!" Once more Spock faltered, but continued on. The situation was indeed dire, but he knew that Leonard's life was not in danger.

"You are beginning to sound like him more and more, Jim. It is quite unsettling," Spock actually joked. Jim muttered something about 'damn infuriatingly sexy hobgoblin' before scanning Bones with the tricorder.

"His heart rate is getting steadier, but he needs more blood. Yours won't do, obviously, and me and Bones don't have the same blood type."

"Then we must cut this leave short." Spock picked up his comm ready to alert the Enterprise.

"No!" He pulled the comm out of Spock's hand. "That's our last possible choice." Jim stroked his chin thinking deeply. "Bones was talking about some hypo that increases blood production. He was all excited about it, I remember because it was the first night we- well, we don't have to get into details at the moment. I'm sure he has some in his pack." Jim searched through the pack, pulling out objects and reading them. Finally he pulled out a strikingly large hypo. Even Spock flinched at the size of. "Oh, pay back is a _bitch,_ Leonard." After reading the instructions- yes, the thing was so intense it needed instructions- he jabbed the point into the unconscious man's chest. Bones' eyes shot open, his breath coming in loud gasps.

There was serious of coughs that wracked his body, causing him to arch up off of the ground. When the coughing subsided, Bones managed to catch his breathe. "What the fuck was that!" He asked, clutching his chest.

"You're alive!" Jim flung his arms around Bones and kissed him thoroughly.

Bones returned the kiss, but was quick to pull away, still feeling the lack of oxygen. "Of course I'm alive, why wouldn't I be? And why the hell are you guys covered in blood?"

"You bled out, we had to revive you; you were so close to death." Jim could be overly dramatic when he felt like it.

Spock spoke up, disliking the melodrama Jim was creating. "You were not close to death Leonard, Jim seems to have a flare for the dramatics."

Jim grinned and looked at the Vulcan. "Wow, I think that was the most human thing you have ever said."

"There is no need to insult me, James," Spock said, annoyed.

"Oh, get over it," Jim laughed. "You are just as human as me sometimes." There was no denying the insulted look on Spock's face.

"How about this for human behavior, Jim: Go fuck yourself." With this Spock stood up and exited the tent, leaving Bones and Jim shocked.

"Did he just tell me to _go_ _fuck_ _myself_?" Bones could only nod. "I think that might be the sexiest thing he has ever done." Once more, Bones nodded. They sat in silence for a few minutes until Bones couldn't take it anymore.

* * *

After it became clear that Spock was not returning, Jim got up. "Jim, I think he is seriously pissed." Bones grabbed Jim by the arm as he tried to leave the tent.

"Why would he be?"

Bones shrugged. "How the hell should I know? What did you say to him?"

"It's probably just that he hates my dramatization of everything... But... Fuck it, I dunno."

"Did you tease him or something? Cause you know how he gets in these stressful situations..."

"So what if I did tease him a little? He's a big boy, he can handle it. And it wasn't anything insulting, or even about him, for Christ's sake!" Jim threw up his arms and Bones watched him pace in the confined tent. "I love him, but this is ridiculous!" "Jim..."

"I mean- what the hell? I make-"

"Jim..."

"-One fucking joke about you being our-"

"_Jim!"_

"_What_!" Jim spun around in time to be pushed to the ground by Bones, who had become nauseous and flew through the tent flap. "Bones?" Jim arrived outside to the sound of Bones vomiting behind a tree at the edge of the clearing. Jim made his way over to the sick doctor. Spock had heard Bones' distress and came to see if he could aid his injured t'hy'la, but upon seeing Jim, he stopped and just watched the pair of them. "I'm sorry, Bones. I shouldn't be complaining to you... You got your own issues right now."

"Tell me about it." Bones wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and, with the help of Jim, lowered himself to sit against the base of the tree. "Jim, Spock just cares and when he's showing emotion, ya can't make fun of 'im."

Jim just stared at Bones.

"What?"

"It's ironic that you of all people are telling me how to talk to Spock."

Bones glowered. "Don't start with me, Jim."

"I'm not! I'm not, Bones." Jim rushed to reassure his friend that he wasn't trying to start any fights. The last thing he needed was to alienate Bones. "It's just... You guys, both of you, mean so much to me. It's strange; I've literally never had feeling like this... Ever. And I wasn't joking when I said future husband to him, but, I dunno..."

"Why don't you just talk to him about it?" Bones suggested.

"And say what? I love you just doesn't cut it!" Jim cried in exasperation.

"It does if you mean it, Jim." Spock came up from behind Jim and let his presence be known. "I apologize for my earlier actions; I was concerned for Leonard's wellbeing and allowed myself to become... agitated. It will not happen again."

"Spock, I was worried too. You don't have to apologize to me," Jim shrugged, looking at the Vulcan with intensity. "I deserved it, behaving like an ass. It's just, it's easier for me to make jokes, instead of becoming totally serious." The captain and first officer looked at each other for a moment before Jim raised his hand to offer Spock a Vulcan kiss, which he readily accepted.

Bones looked on in amusement. "Well, if you two girls are done, I think we should head up the mountain."

Jim pulled back from Spock and turned to Bones in anger. "Oh, fuck no!"

Bones recoiled in shock. "W-what?"

"Why the hell didn't you say anything about your head _yesterday_, Leonard?" It was Jim who said this as he prowled around the fallen doctor.

Bones looked at him with regret. He raised his hands in a placating manner. "Jim, calm down. I didn't think it was that big a deal!"

"Are you insane?" Jim yelled, the very idea being foreign to him and causing a fierce rage to well up inside of him. "You're the one who said that everything was going to be fine, and then I wake up this morning covered in your blood. Do you know how terrifying that was?"

"It's not like you haven't done this to me!" Bones shot back. "Now you know how it feels to see your love soaked in blood and lifeless and you have to do everything in your power to save them." Bones wasn't backing down; he didn't feel he was in the wrong.

Jim scowled. "It's in my job description to get down and dirty, Bones. You knew that coming into this relationship. There has always been a chance I wouldn't come back."

Bones leaned forward. "And thank God Spock's there to protect you. With that mind-set Jim, you will die. And death is never part of the job. In fact, if we," he gestured between himself and Spock. "Had our way you wouldn't leave the ship, not even if it was a diplomacy mission!"

"Since when did this conversation turn on me? We're talking about you Bones, and your blatant disregard for self-preservation!" Jim's eyes were wild.

"I was tired and disoriented," Bones said defensively. "If my bleeding was anybody's fault, it would be yours for not watching me more carefully!" Jim sputtered in disbelief.

"My fault? _My_ fault! That's fucking rich, Bones!" Jim laughed in disbelief and anger. "Maybe if you learned how to stay out of sticky situations then we wouldn't be having this problem!" Jim was pacing, madly flailing his hands in the air.

"You're one to talk Mr. 'Let's-see-what-will-happen-if-we-provoke-an-emotionally-unstable-Vulcan'! And the reason we're in this problem is because you wanted to go on a little camping trip with your buds! Well, jokes on you Jim!" Even though his head still felt heavy, Bones stood up to be level with his irate captain. He let all of his anger seep into his eyes and voice.

Jim moved into Bones' personal space, glaring. "It was the only way I was going to get us all together, the only way I could have possibly tried to get Spock to let out his feelings, to get you to show yours. It's like pulling teeth for you to admit that you're in love with us!" Jim yelled. "Jesus, Spock was more forthcoming than you were, and he's a fucking _Vulcan_!" Bones recoiled as if he were slapped in the face. "God forbid you show some fucking emotion, Leonard! Does your daughter even know that you love her, or did you deprive her just like you were going to deprive us?" Bones stumbled backwards, away from the verbal blow. Spock reached out his hand to steady him, but it was pushed away. "And don't even get me started on your bedside manner."

Spock cut in as Bones huddled himself into the bark of the tree once more. "Jim." But the younger man was too deep in his rant to hear.

"If it weren't for Chapel, I don't know what would happen!"

"Jim!"

"It's like you're d-"

"James Tiberius Kirk!" This snapped Jim out of his tirade. He looked at Spock whose eyes were filled with worry then down to Bones huddled on the ground.

"Oh shit, Bones. I'm sorry man. I didn't mean any of it." He reached down to touch the trembling doctor, but the man just flinched away. "Love, I'm so sorry. God, so fucking _stupid_. Please forgive me." This time when he made contact, Bones turned his fiery eyes on him and in one swift movement brought his fist back and punched Jim right in the nose. Before Spock could react Bones was on top of Jim, trying to hit him. Jim was able to block a few blows, but occasionally a some would get through.

"Leonard, stop!" Spock didn't know what to do, but his pleas went unanswered.

The punches flew as Bones pinned Jim to the ground. "_How dare you? After all the things we've been through and all the times I had your back?_ O-One t-t-time I f-f-fuck up and you d-d-do this?" Bones' punched became weaker as his sobs became stronger. "One-one mis-mistake and y-you start on m-m-me?"

Spock had had enough. He pulled Leonard up into his arms and sat next to Jim. "We are only concerned for your welfare, Leonard. It was extremely distressing to see you in your earlier state."

Jim, who had remained in the same position- on the ground- finally sat up and spoke. "Len- I love you. I didn't mean an of it... I swear, I was just angry because it seems like you don't care about yourself and I know that if something were to happen to you, I wouldn't be able to hold myself together."

Bones looked at Jim with a weary expression across his face. "You would still have Spock, Jim. You don't really need me anyway."

"Bones! Of course I need you- I have since the shuttle ride to the academy. And we're all just part of the equation. I might have Spock, but I won't have you..." Jim looked to Spock. "I love you to death, Spock, but you have to know what I mean. We all add up to one great... item... and without one, the others fall apart."

Spock nodded. "I understand, Jim. But realize that you must also take your words to heart, lest we deem you a hypocrite."

"Wouldn't want that, would we, Jimmy?" Bones said, in the hope of drawing a smile from the solemn looking captain.

"No, we wouldn't." Jim shook his head and pulled his loves into a hug. "So, we're all in agreement, then? We watch out for each other and ourselves?"

"Of course, Jim."

"Should we make up a secret handshake, too?" Bones said even as he agreed with Spock.

"Oh Bones! We can if you wanna! We could be like the Three Musketeers! _Awesome_!"

"Oh lord..."

"Don't bring your religion into this, Bones. This is a safe place." Jim placated the agitated doctor.

"Ha. Ha. You're _so_ funny. Don't forget me an' Spock when you become a famous comedian, Jim."

"The correct phrasing is, 'Spock and me', Leonard."

"... Oh my god." Bones face-palmed and then groaned in pain from having his head jostled.

"So, can we get moving?" Bones asked several hours later. "It's our last day alone together before we meet up with the gang."

"Yeah, we should take in the view before it's dampened by Scotty's mug," Jim deadpanned.

Bones barked out a laugh. "I'm tellin' him you said that!"

Jim laughed with him. "As long as Uhura doesn't find out I'm fine with you telling him."

"Why would this concern Nyota?" Spock, who had taken the lead, asked over his shoulder.

"You can't be serious, Spock!" Bones said in disbelief. "I thought you and Uhura were friends."

"We are 'friends' as you say, but I do not understand what that has to do with Mr. Scott."

Jim stared at the Vulcan. "Spock. Nyota and Scotty are together, as in dating. You had to have known this; they're practically fucking in mess every day." Spock's eyebrows shot up into his hairline.

"I was not aware they were serious."

Bones shrugged. "Well, I guess you're aware now."

"Indeed. I am not sure what to make of this."

"Well, take all the time that you want Spock. Just remember to keep moving your feet." Jim clapped the Vulcan on the back as he passed him. They walked for what seemed like forever, when they finally reached the peak. The sight was breathtaking. They huddled together and stared out at the setting suns. "Why didn't we just have the Enterprise beam us here to begin with?" Jim asked breathlessly.

Bones growled. "Because you thought it would be more fun to trek up this insanely large mountain."

"Oh yeah," Jim said. "Well, next time, you make the decisions."

"Yeah, right."

"I will not be averse to taking the initiative, Jim," Spock said.

A grin lit Jim's face. "Is that right Mr. Spock?" Jim shuffled closer to Spock, staring deeply into his eyes. "Would you say you like being in charge?"

"I believe that is what I am saying Captain. Does this revelation bother you?" Spock's lips quirked into a small smirk.

"Not at all. In fact, I kind of like being told what to do. It brings me back to my days as a cadet," Jim said huskily.

"You are in luck then, for I was once a professor, Cadet Kirk." Jim shuddered

"Well, Commander Spock, that is very good to know." He brought his hands through Spock's hair and pulled him down for a kiss.

"As amazing as this is to watch, I'm kind of feeling left out." Bones may or may not have pouted.

Bones was pulled to Jim and Spock, he wasn't sure who did it, but it happened. Soon they were a tangle of limbs until an accidental push sent Jim barrel rolling away from Spock and Bones.

"Fuck!" Jim cried as he grabbed a root and hauled his ass to a stop. Up above him, he could see Bones' grinning face and Spock's raised eyebrow. "Thanks, you douche bags!"

Bones just laughed and clapped Jim on the back once he rejoined them. Spock tried to look unamused... He failed.

"Well, we're here, so we might as well set up camp while one of us calls Scotty to let him know we're here," Bones reasoned. Jim and Spock nodded and it was decided that Bones would hail the Enterprise while the other two would set up the campsite. "And why can't I set up the tent?"

Spock moved to place a hand on Bones' shoulder. "Because you are looking paler than your normal skin tone, Leonard. I, for one, would like to see you remain in optimal health."

"I second that!" Jim looked up from where he was searching for the comm. Upon finding it, he tossed it to Bones and they set to complete their appointed tasks.


	15. Chapter 15

DISCLAIMER: See chapter one.

* * *

Chapter 15

"_Aye, we'll be seeing you tomorrow then. Scott out_." Bones closed the comm. and went back to where Jim and Spock sat talking quietly.

"What are you guys talking about?"

Jim shrugged. "I'm trying to get Spock to at least contemplate who 'they' are."

"God, not this again!" Bones groaned.

"You're going to have to get used to it babe, because 'they' will always be a part of our lives."

"You and your conspiracy theories. It's not the 1970's anymore, Jim." In a very mature show of emotions, Jim stuck out his tongue.

"Never mind this, what did Scotty say?" Jim asked, absentmindedly running his fingers through Spock's hair.

"They'll be down bright and early. Scotty said he saw a heat signature somewhere close to here. He's sure it's hot springs." Bones grinned, both from the news of a hot spring and from the sight before him.

"That's pretty cool, isn't it Spock?" Jim murmured with a smile.

"Indeed," Spock seemed to hum it, then continued to purr as Jim ran his hands through his hair.

"Are you guys hungry?"

Spock shook his head and Jim hummed in contemplation. "I could eat something. But nothing too heavy. Maybe a salad?"

"Yeah, that sounds good. Spock you don't mind if we take your salad's do you?" Spock shook his head again which made Bones raise his eyebrow. "It's like he's drunk again."

Jim practically squealed. "I know, but it's so cute."

"True." The rest of the night was uneventful. They sat and talked about anything and everything and once again fell asleep under the stars.

* * *

"Would ya look a' this?" A voice pierced through Jim's dream of an ice cream mountain and his t'hy'la... naked. He rolled over and saw Bones and Spock curled around each other, one of Spock's arms still draped where Jim had lain previously. But as he took in the scene with a soft smile, laughter reached his ears. Looking around, Jim spotted some new comers.

"Scotty!" Jim jumped up and grabbed the chief engineer in a hug. Behind the Scot were Uhura, Sulu, and Chekov. The last of the group looking like he was gonna wet himself. "Chekov, you ok?" Jim asked with a laugh.

"Oh, yes, Keptin! It is just zat I'm wery excited to be camping with eweryone!" Chekov beamed and blushed when Sulu nudged him in the shoulder, causing Jim to grin.

"_Right_. Well, let's get these beauties up, then, shall we?" Jim turned to Bones and Spock, contemplating the most amusing way of waking the pair. Looking around, Jim spotted a bush and grinned manically.

* * *

"GAAAAHHHH!" Bones jumped about ten feet in the air after feeling something crawling up his back. His movements caused Spock to wake in a flurry of movement as he tried to ascertain what was harming one of his t'hy'la.

"Leonard?"

"_Get it off! Get it off! Get it offoffoff!"_ Bones screamed and tried to claw at his back. He was stopped by a hand on his shoulder and Spock comforting him.

"Leonard, there is nothing on your back at this time, allow me to reassure you of that."

"I felt something! I swear it!" Bones said emphatically.

"I am sure that you did, however, it is not there at this present moment."

"Then wha-" Bones finally noticed the snickers from the surrounding group. He turned to Jim, who had unsuccessfully attempted to hide a branch behind his back. "_Jim!_"

"You're lucky there are people here, Jim," Bones growled, "because they just saved your ass."

"But, what if I don't want my ass saved!" Bones grumbled, but decided to ignore his lover. "What time is it?"

"It's eight in the morning, Leonard. I'm sorry we woke you." Uhura's eyes twinkled in amusement.

"Yeah, I'm sure you are. Did you at least bring a decent breakfast with you?"

"Da, sausage and eggs. Oh, and fresh fruit for you, Commander." Chekov was shaking like an overly excited Chihuahua.

"Pavel, calm down. We'll get to the springs soon." Sulu placed his hand on the young man's shoulder in a poor attempt at calming him. "Would you guys mind if we ate on the road, once he gets excited there's no calming him until he gets what he wants."

"That's what she said," Jim shouted out between a mouthful of chewed sausage and egg. Luckily he swallowed before he started laughing hysterically, Bones following soon after.

"Real mature guys." Uhura shook her head, partly in an attempt to hide her smile. Wiping a fake tear from his eye, Jim collected himself and went over to his pack.

"We can leave now, we just need to get our suits." In a very domesticated act, Jim went through each pack and retrieved the clothing. When he turned around everyone-excluding Spock of course- had a smile on their face. "What?"

"Oh, nothin' at all laddy!" Scotty said innocently.

Jim shrugged. "Okay, then let's get going. Oh, and don't forget sun block!"

"Vhy vould ve forget sun block? It is crucial in zis type of sun exposure, no?" He said it as if it were the most obvious thing that one could possibly do.

Jim looked around awkwardly. "Uh, well, I've heard storie-"

"He decided it would be a good idea to work on his tan the first day we got here. Let's just say it didn't end well. I think he still has blisters to prove it." Jim blushed darkly when they all started laughing.

"It's not that funny," he mumbled.

"Oh, but it is!" Sulu was literally slapping his knee.

Jim pouted. "You guys all suck."

"But not as well as you, Jimmy boy." This time Bones was the only one laughing.

Jim raised his eyebrows with a leer. "And how would you know how good I am at sucking, Len?"

"Uh-I-um…" Bones shuffled.

"Yeah, that's what I thought." They continued a light banter the rest of the way to the so called springs. Spock was first to spot the water.

"I believe we have made it to our destination." Immediately Scotty, Uhura, Sulu and Chekov began to strip down to their bathing suits that they had worn underneath their uniforms and ran for the water. The other three looked around for a place to change.

Bones groaned. "Well, shit! Why weren't we told that this was going to be as deserted as the desert? I would've changed back at the campsite. Now what are we supposed to do?" With this Jim began to strip down. "What are you doing?" Bones reached out to stop him from pulling off any more clothing.

Jim looked at Bones with annoyance. "What does it look like I'm doing? I'm getting changed."

"Where people can see you? That's indecent Jim!"

Jim laughed. "It's only our friends, Bones. And believe me, I'm sure they've seen all of me at least once before; everybody has." He thought back to the time at the Academy when he hid under Gaila's bed. "And it's not like Uhura hasn't seen Spock naked before, am I right?" He looked over to Spock whose cheeks had become a deeper green than usual. "As for you, there was that time when we were playing strip poker and you lost miserably. Chekov still blushes when he sees you."

Bones shrugged. "Our past's aside, I'm not comfortable with people seeing you two naked."

"Are you jealous Bones?" Jim said with a smirk.

Bones growled. "You know what, why deny it? Yeah, Jim, I'm jealous of people seeing my mates naked. Happy?"

"Very! Alright, you two stand in front of me while I change. And then we'll alternate." And that's exactly what they did, sneaking peeks every once and a while. Finally they reached the water. "Bones, you aren't allergic to this, right?"

"We'll find out won't we? I have a hypo in my pants pocket anyway." When he stepped in, Jim and Spock held their breath. After a minute or so everything seemed to be fine. Once they settled in the water they looked around the circle.

"So, how's the Enterprise, Scotty?" Jim asked.

Scotty beamed. "Everything has been working fine, Jim. Just as pristine as ye left her!"

"Excellent!" Jim clapped his hands to make sure he had everyone's attention. "So, now that business is finished, how about we play a game?"

"That's so preteen, Jim," Bones sneered.

"Just deal, Bones. This'll be fun and a lot dirtier than when we played it as kids. So guys, it's your choice: Truth or Dare or Never Have I ever."

"Don't you need alcohol to play never have I ever?" Sulu said.

"Oh, yeah," Jim said, looking downcast. It didn't really matter, he would have lost anyway.

"I brought some with me, but I left it at the camp," Scotty said.

Chekov spoke up from his seat. "Da, I haf vodka."

"You're not even old enough to drink!" Bones said.

"Actually he is," Sulu defended. "At least in Russia, he is. And since we're not even on planet . . ."

"Fine, but you're cleaning up after him if he gets sick!" Bones replied.

"It would be my honor." Sulu slung his arm around Chekov lovingly.

"Don't think you're so lucky, Montgomery Scott." Uhura leaned away from Scotty to get her point across.

"I wouldn't dream of it!"

Jim steered the conversation back where it had originated from. "Okay, well now that that's settled. Scotty, truth or dare?"

"I'll start out easy. Truth," Scotty said, sitting back against the spring's edge.

"LAME!" Bones and Sulu cried together.

"Alright, alright, gentlemen! Take it easy... So, truth?" Jim touched his chin a thoughtful manner. Suddenly, a wicked gleam came over Jim's eyes. Bones recoiled, having had that look directed at him before- the end result was not pretty. "What _really_ happened that night Spock found you in the engine room without your pants on?"  
There was a collective gasp and snicker going around the group, not Spock, though.

Scotty looked down to hide his blazing cheeks. "Ye couldn't have picked somethin' easier could ya?"

"Sorry Scotty, but I did say this was the dirty version."

"And you're not backing out of this one Monty, because I really want to know the answer." The rest of the group wasn't sure if Uhura was truly mad or just acting.

"Uhh, well, ya see, I was drinkin' with a couple of the boys from Engineering- I would advise ye ta stay away Romulan Ale at all costs. Anyway, the night's a wee bit fuzzy, but I do remember the boys telling me that the Enterprise would never put out even if I was the one who was offerin'. I bet 'em they were wrong," Scotty said amidst laughter. "Of course I lost- in retrospect either way I would've. Being found with your britches around your ankles trying to mount a pipe, by your Vulcan first officer isn't a win in anyway." The circle erupted in laughter, including Uhura.

Jim wiped a tear from his eye. "Why were you down there, Spock? Usually I'm the one who checks in with Engineering."  
Spock shrugged. "I had come across an equation that I thought Mr. Scott would find interesting. I never did have the chance to show it to him. Perhaps when we are back aboard the Enterprise we could have a moment."

"Aye, sounds like a plan to me," Scotty said, nodding. "And for Chris' sake! Call me Scotty or somethin', ye have seen my balls, ya know!" Once more the circle roared in laughter. "Anyway, I believe it is my turn to ask someone." He paused dramatically clearing his throat. "Chekov! Truth or Dare?" The boy paled.

"Erm, Truth?" A collective groan made him blush deeply.

"Come on Pav! Why didn't you choose dare?" Sulu whined.

"Because I do not vant to be told to strip or make out vith Dr. McCoy!" Jim nearly choked on his laughter when he saw the look on the poor kids face. Bones just looked indignant.

"Okay, lad. Truth it is. What is your favorite thing that Hikaru does in bed?" The goofy smile on Sulu's face dropped instantly.

"Oh, zis is easy!" Apparently talking sex was easier than doing any dare. "I lof it ven he sexy talks." Sulu looked down to his lap, shaking his head. "Don't be embarrassed Hikaru!"

Jim looked shocked. "Wait, so Sulu likes to talk dirty? I would've thought he had a type of sword kink going on. Or gave great head."

"And what would make you think that Jim?" Bones had already shown his possessive side once, and it seemed he was about to show it again.

"I've told you already Bones. I know a good sucker when I see one!" Just as McCoy opened his mouth to retaliate, Chekov unknowingly saved the day.

"I vant to ask Uhura ze truth or dare."

* * *

Chekov turned to Uhura. "Truth or dare, Uhura?"

"Dare." There was no hesitation in her voice as she stared Chekov down from across the springs. He gulped.

"Alright, zen... Uhmm..." Chekov looked around the circle, as if seeking guidance. "I vill admit zat I vas not prepared for you to say dare."

"Can he have help?" Jim asked, perking up. The remainder of the group consulted with each other, while Uhura protested.

"No way! You'll give him something dirty to say!"

Jim let a sly smile shine on his face. "What if I make it not dirty?"

The group shared a look and made a decision. "Sure, Jim." McCoy spoke up. "But nothing too brash, alright?"

"You got it, Bonesy!" Jim scooted closer to Chekov and whispered in his ear. "Got it?" Chekov nodded and turned back to Uhura.

"Uhura, I dare you to do fifty pushups in your undervear..." Uhura made a noise of protest. "Or 10 in ze nude!" She glared at Jim, who was trying to hide his laughter.

"Fine! Just because you think I won't... or can't!" She climbed out of the spring and proceeded to show off her Starfleet training. Completing all fifty pushups, to the dismay of the captain, but also to the delight of Scotty.

"Tha's muh lass!"

"Well, isn't someone lucky?" Jim mumbled under his breath as he watched Uhura do the pushups in the normal form, not the girl method.

"Fuck you, Kirk," Uhura said as she returned to the pool. "My turn... Sulu!" She sang. The Asian man looked frightened for a moment. "Truth... or dare?"

"Um, dare?" Sulu wasn't about to back down from a challenge. . . even when it terrified him. All the guys, excluding Spock, did a chorus of 'ooohs' before they were silenced by Sulu's glare.

"I dare you to kiss everyone here and tell me who the best kisser is. Excluding me and Chekov, of course." Every head turned in Uhura's direction.

"No way! That's just too awkward," said Jim surprisingly.

"I don't care. If you had thought of it, you would have done it no questions asked!" She had him there. "It doesn't have to be with tongue, Hikaru, but it does have to be on the lips. And for 10 seconds."

"Even Spock?" Uhura eyed her ex carefully before nodding.

"Even Spock."

Sulu gulped. "Oh God." He went up to Scotty- who looked like he was going to be sick- and kissed him. After ten seconds (of Uhura counting) he pulled away quickly. Scotty mumbled something about Uhura being lucky he loved her as he wiped his mouth. The next victim- as Jim came to think of it- was Bones. "Let's just get it over with." With this Sulu grabbed Bones' neck and pulled him into a kiss. Once Uhura finished he pulled away, letting go of the doctor's neck. "Sorry about that, Len."

"Eh, whatever. I was too shocked by your forcefulness that I didn't even think about the kiss."

"Well, lucky you!" Sulu managed to laugh a little as he moved to position himself in front of Jim.

"Shouldn't I be last because I'm the best?" And there was that old Jim Kirk charm. "Whatever, this will do." Now, instead of Sulu grabbing the neck, it was Jim. He connected his lips and held it for ten long seconds. He gasped for air when they broke apart, Sulu wobbling a little. "He's all yours, Mr. Spock!"

"Must I really do this?" Spock definitely did not whine.

Uhura tried to contain her giggles. "Yes, Spock."

"Very well." Sulu, who was standing in front of him, had an apologetic smile on his face. He leaned down and placed his lips on Spock's. He pulled away gently when time was up. When he sat back down, next to a very upset Chekov, he looked to Uhura.

"So, who was the best kisser?" His eyes scanned over the guys a few times before he leveled them on,

"Spock."

"What! This is an outrage! I demand a redo!" Jim yelled, standing up.

"Oh, shut up and sit down." Jim did as he was told. "Why Spock?"

"Well, Monty was just horrible because he's straight, Bones was a little too soft, which is funny because he's such a hard ass, Jim was too rough, a little overeager if you ask me." He winked, jokingly. "And Spock was just right. He wasn't exactly into it, but when our lips connected it was just the right amount of roughness and softness, and -don't take this the wrong way Pav- he smells divine!"

"It's your turn now," Uhura reminded him.

"Oh, yeah, right." He looked around. "Alright. McCoy, truth or dare?"

Jim looked to Bones and wiggled his eyebrows in an enticing manner. Bones shook his head. The staring contest grew.

"McCoy?"

Sulu's voice snapped Bones out of the staring contest and he sighed. "_Fine._ Because I know I won't hear the end of it... Dare."

Jim punched the air in victory.

"Alright then! Let's see how flexible you are, doctor." Jim and Spock looked at Sulu sharply. McCoy gulped.

"And what do you mean by that?"

"Do a split- as far down as you can..." Jim grinned and Spock raised an eyebrow as he looked at Leonard. Bones grinned with relief and determination.

"What kind? You want a side split? Front? Over? Vertical? Twisting? Come on, man. Give me specifics." Bones threw his hands up in a gesture that said he could take anything thrown at him. The group wore similar looks on their faces- disbelief and shock were the prominent ones. "Look, if ya'll can't decide, I'm gonna hafta blow you all away with my skills."

"... You can blow me away anytime, Bones!"

Bones shook his head as he got up from the pool. "Jim, you're incorrigible."

"But-!"

"Shut it! Just lemme do the dare, 'cause now I'm cold!"

Silence took over as Bones went through the motions of a gymnast. The side split and front split were easy, the vertical only requiring him to stand. For the twisting split, Bones had to transition from front split to side split, and then to the opposite front split. The oversplit was the difficult one. "The oversplit is one where the feet support the body. But there's nothing here that I can use to do it, so if you really wanna see it, it's probably gunna hafta wait until we get back to the ship... What?" Astonished stares were being leveled at the doctor.

"Where the fuck did you learn to do that?" Jim cried in outrage. "And why haven't you told me about your little _talent_?"

Bones grinned maniacally. "Jim, I'm just full of surprises."

"I'll say!"

"So... Jim! Truth or dare?" Bones looked to Jim eagerly, hoping to scare him, but knowing that nothing would.

"Oh! Can I do both?_" _Jim asked excitedly.

Bones groaned. "That's not how it works, Jim."

"But I wanna! It's not like anyone else has asked for this!" Jim's whining was unbearable.

Bones would not be swayed. "No, Jim. You only get to pick one. So, which is it truth or dare?"

"Fine! Dare!" He may or may not have stuck out his tongue.

There was no hesitation. "Good. You have to imitate Spock for the next hour. You laugh, crack a smile, or do anything that he wouldn't do and you have to sing 'Like a Virgin' on a ship wide announcement, dressed as Madonna and all."

"You've got to be shitting me!" Jim looked around the circle nervously.

"I'd be careful what you say, Jim. Time starts now." Jim's face morphed easily into an exact replica of Spock's, eyebrow raised and all.

"Very well. I believe it is my turn?" Bones nodded. "Mr. Spock, Truth or Dare?"

"Truth, Jim. The 'dares' are illogical and I find myself better able to answer questions, rather than perform a mindless task," Spock said with no lack of disdain.

"Mindless? Did you not just see my display of gymnastic awesomeness?" Bones said outrageously.

"I did, Leonard and am still curious as to how you were able to perform in such a way. This is irrelevant, however. Jim?" Spock turned to look at Jim, noting the blank expression and raised eyebrow. It was disturbing, that this was how others saw Spock- as a truly unemotional being, but he let it pass for the moment in favor of hearing his question.

"Mr. Spock, what is your most embarrassing situation to date?"

Spock looked at Jim sharply. But then he realized that he was amongst friends and they would not be part of the rumor mill.

Spock tried not to let out a sigh. "When I first came to Earth to start at the Academy I never had to worry about the usual Terran problems, such as 'keggers' and women. I was fully engaged in my work. However, one night I had let the stress of my Advanced Xenobiology class 'get to me', as Jim would say." Spock paused, making everyone think he was done.

"Spock, we get that you're embarrassed about your emotions, but that doesn't-"

"I am not finished, Leonard. As I was saying, I succumbed to the stress of being on an unfamiliar planet and challenging classes. Much of the cadets spoke of parties and how relieving drinking was. In pure experimentation I decided to 'give it a try' I bought a bar of dark chocolate and a bottle of Romulan Ale. The ale would not exactly cause any effects, but it seemed logical. The rest of the night I cannot remember, but when I awoke I had a blaring headache and an uneasy stomach. I soon realized I was five minutes late to my class. Speedily I ran to the Science building, taking a seat in the back. I knew I looked disheveled, but the level of looks and laughter I received caused me great distress. After the class was over a girl who had been looking at me the whole class slipped a piece of paper in my hand and walked away. I unfolded it and immediately knew what caused such attention. It read: 'Your body is amazing. Give me a call.'." Everyone was silent, waiting for Spock to continue, but he didn't.

"What the hell does that mean?" Sulu screeched.

Spock leveled a stare at the pilot. "It means, Hikaru, that in my haste to get to class, I forgot to put on a shirt. I went to the class with only my night clothes on. In all honesty, I do not know how it was possible; perhaps I was still feeling the effects of the chocolate in my system."

Bones laughed loudly. "How the hell didn't your professor not see this?"

"The professor was 109 years old, blind and partially deaf." After a second of silence the group burst out laughing, well everyone except for Jim who managed the whole 'I'm laughing with my eyes' thing that Spock does.

"He would hafta be blind to not notice _that_ body!" Bones muttered to Jim. Spock heard and blushed a light green. "Your turn, Spock. Ask away!" Bones gestured around the group. Spock searched the faces of the others.

"Do we return to the beginning?"

"Yeah, so... Chekov is the lucky one."

"I see. Well, Mr. Chekov, truth or dare?"

"I do not like ze dare, so I will do truth." Chekov received a slap on the back of his head from Sulu and Scotty. "Ouch!"

"That's fer bein' a pussy!" Scotty said partly joking, partly annoyed.

"Yeah, Pav! What the fuck? I had to kiss these guys!" Chekov looked at him with a pout.

"And zat is exactly why I do not want to do dare!"

"Very well gentlemen. Chekov, tell us something that was completely against your morals, but you are... pleased... that you did so anyway."  
Chekov stared at Spock. "Zat is somezing of a personal question, Meester Spock."

"You gotta answer the question, Chekov," Bones said. "You did choose truth."

"Da... Well zen. I would haf to say, falling in love with Hikaru." There were a collective gasp heard around the circle. "I vas raised zinking zat loving anozer man vas wrong. I am extremely happy zat I did not leesten to my upbringing- I vould not be able to live vithout Hikaru." Chekov turned to Sulu and they shared a kiss, Sulu clinging to the young Russian for a few extra moments.

"I'm so glad you didn't ignore how you felt... I love you, too, Pasha."

Uhura sniffled, wiping a tear from her eye. "Why can't you be more like that?" Scotty rubbed the shoulder that Uhura had slapped.

"I'll try harder darlin'," Scotty said mournfully.

"You better!"

"Are you two done?" Bones faux joked. "Alright Pavel, who are you picking?"

"Umm, I choose Scotty this zis time! Truth or dare?"

Scotty looked thoughtful. "Dare, I suppose."

The Russian groaned. "Vhy do zey always pick dare?"

"Because dare's are awesome!" Sulu cried.

"Indeed." Jim, who had stayed mostly quiet, looked on with twinkling eyes.

"Alright, I dare you to give Jim a lap dance!" Surprisingly Jim's expression didn't change a wink.

"Ye all know I'm straight right? As in, I like women." A throat cleared. "Erm, I mean, I love this woman."

"Eet does not matter, Scotty. You haf to do as I say." Scotty pushed himself up and over to where Jim sat stiff as a board.

"I am so very sorry, laddy." He starting swinging his hips, and to everyone's surprise had very good rhythm. Left. Right. Left. Right. Scotty kept up a slow beat. He didn't do anything to provocative, but he did enough to make himself and Jim extremely uncomfortable. Soon, though, he went back to his seat beside Uhura. Everyone remained quiet.

"Holy. Fucking. Shit!" Uhura exclaimed, wrapping her arms around Scotty's neck. "Why didn't you tell me you could dance like that?" She purred in his ear and brought her hand down his chest. "That was sexy!"

"Enough please." Jim shifted uncomfortably. "I mean no offense Mr. Scott, but I would be extremely pleased if you refrained from doing that for me or in front of me ever again."

"Aye, Captain. It would be my pleasure. Now, Sulu," Scotty said, "truth or dare?"

"Dare, I suppose..." Sulu said, looking a little suspicious as Scotty rubbed his hands together in glee.

"Alrighty, then! I dare ye to le' someone rub their feet in yer face fer thirty secon's!" Scotty laughed manically, as did the rest of the group with the exception of Spock and Jim. Sulu's face grew white and his mouth dropped.

"Wh-whose foot?"

"Ah, yer a good sport, laddy! Mr. Spock, yer up!"

Spock looked sharply at the Scot, and if he had been human, would have sighed. "Am I to assume that I cannot refuse this?"

"Ye assume correctly, sir!" Scotty snapped off a jaunty salute and Spock moved to complete the dare. Sulu stayed in the water while Spock sat on the edge and positioned his feet in the helmsman's face. "Ready? Well, it actually doesn' mattah if yer ready... Begin!" Spock placed his feet on Sulu's face and began to move them, touching his cheeks, mouth, and eyes. Sulu was silent, lips pursed as the group laughed- minus Jim, who looked like he couldn't contain himself for much longer. Scotty ticked off the time aloud. "15...14...13...12..." Sulu made whimpering noises, causing the laughter to escalate. Spock maintained a look of indifference, but when McCoy looked at him, he could see the annoyance in his face. "6... 5... 4..." Sulu spoke. "No more!" And Spock's toes slipped into his mouth, causing him to cough and the result was that the laughter reached the point of breathlessness and Jim... well... "2... 1... 0!"

"Jim! Guess what you gotta do?" McCoy managed to get out in between gulping air.

"You've got to be shitting me! How long did I have left?" Jim yelled in disbelief.

Immediately Spock replied. "3.23 minutes, Jim."

He dropped his face into his palms, shaking his head in disbelief. "Can't I just win on a technicality? I went the whole fucking time without even twitching."

Bones smirked. "Sorry Jim, rules are rules."

"I fucking hate you." His icy glare almost broke the good doctor.

"You love me, babe." He leaned in to Jim, bumping their foreheads lovingly. When a throat cleared he pulled away.

"So, uh, Lenny. I choose you, truth or dare?" Sulu looked hopeful, which made Bones nervous.

"Truth." He smirked believing that he saved himself from a very excruciating experience. However when Sulu smiled, Bones wasn't so cocky.

"So, what happened over the past week between you guys? Don't leave anything out!"

Bones paled and glanced at Jim and Spock. "Uhh... Pass?"

"No can do, doc! Can't get outta this one!" Sulu said cheerfully.

"Uh- well..." Bones took another glance at his loves. Jim and Spock watched Leonard. They knew that he was a private man, but his decision on whether or not to tell their story was an important one. "I- uhh..." Bones stumbled. "That is, we..." Bones took a deep breath and thought for a second. He wasn't embarrassed or ashamed by the events of the last week or so, so what did he have to lose? Always one for being bluntly honest, Bones dove right in. "We found each other. We fell in love- from all sides- and had one hell of a time doing so. The way there was dangerous, but it was worth every bit of pain and heartache to get there- I would do it again in a heartbeat."

The silence was nearly unbearable for the three men. "I know that wasn't the whole story, but I'm not at that level yet where I can just tell you everything." Still there was silence. "Look, if you can't accept that then maybe you weren't the friends I thought you were." Bones stood to get out of the spring.

Uhura was quick to recover. "Wait! Wait! Leonard, we were just a little surprised, that's all. We weren't judging. I mean, who are we to criticize your relationship. I'm pretty sure Monty is more in love with the Enterprise than me and Pavel and Hikaru are just one pairing I never would have thought of- no offense guys. What I'm saying is that we're not going to judge you guys, because we love you." Her smile was welcoming, but Bones didn't sit back down.

Bones smiled. "Thank you, we really appreciate it, but I can't stay in there anymore."

"Bones, it wasn't that bad!" Jim protested.

"That's not the reason I'm getting out! I'm turning into a fucking prune!" He held his fingers up for Jim to see, and they were, in fact, pruning.

"You're such a baby sometimes, love." Jim said getting out of the water.

"Shut up," Bones grumbled.

"Never!" Jim cried.

"Jim, Leonard, perhaps you can act like infants at another time." Spock went over to their clothes and picked up their towels then handed them to them.

"We do not act like infants!" They said in unison, pouting.

Spock raised his eyebrow. "That very face is verification."

"Yeah, but you love us, Spocky," Jim said sweetly.

"Not if you continue to call me that, Jim." His dark orbs twinkled in suppressed laughter.

"You guys are too cute!" Uhura gushed, reaching to muss up Spock's hair.

"Da, it is wery adorable." To cover his blush Bones turned and started to walk back to camp.

"Yeah, yeah. Shut up!" He was already too far away to hear the giggles.

* * *

The giggles receded until all that was left was a contemplative silence. Uhura sighed. "Took them long enough."

Chekov nodded. "Da... The bridge has been terrible lately."

"What are ye two on about?" Scotty and Sulu shared a confused look.

"Haven't you noticed the tension between them? At all?" They shook their heads. Uhura let out an exasperated sigh. "Well, it's been there, for a while."

"Well, they seemed happy. That's all that matters, right?" Sulu said.

"Aye, laddy... Even the command team needs a bit o' happiness fer themselves."

* * *

The walk back to camp was quiet, up until Jim could no longer contain himself. He walked closer to McCoy and began to bump shoulders with him. "So, Bones..."

"Yes, Jim?" Exasperation filled his tone as Bones answered.

"You told 'em, huh?"

"I did, Jim... Was I wrong to tell them?" Bones grabbed Jim's arm and forced him to stop walking. "They're our friends, so they would've found out later, anyway..."

"No! Of course you should have told them!" Jim grabbed Bones' arms and pulled him into a hug. "I just didn't think you would, that's all."

Bones' face was pressed against Jim's shoulder as he replied. "I'm not embarrassed by what we got, darlin'."

Jim giggled a bit as he released Bones and they returned to Spock's side, continuing on. "I think you wanted them to know! So that they knew what they were missing!" Bones growled made to grab Jim again, but the young captain danced out of reach.

"Dammit, Jim!"

* * *

Once back at camp they changed and helped the others set up their tents. It was dusk when they finally settled around the fire drinks in hand. "It's been too long my love." Bones held the bottle of scotch to his cheek lovingly.

"Has it really been that bad without it? I thought Spock and I kind of made up for it." Jim pouted.

"You know that's not true, Jim."

"Yeah, I guess."

"Look, I won't have another drink for as long as I live if that'll make you happy." By the look on his face he was completely serious.

"That wouldn't make me happy. You're way too funny when you're drunk." Jim pouted.

"I happy that you're concerned for my health," Bones deadpanned.

Jim smiled. "Anyway, what do you guys want to eat? We don't have anything extravagant, probably just some more hot dogs and beans, but-"

"Oh, we brought some food with us. We figured that you should have a big feast your last night of leave. So, anyone up for steak?" All the men whooped in agreement, except Spock. "We have salad for you, Spock. I made sure it was the way you prefer it."

Spock was grateful. "Thank you, Nyota."

She smiled. "Anytime."

"So, let's eat some grub." Jim clapped his hands together.

"That is disgusting, Jim."

"You know I didn't mean that literally, stop being a douche." Spock's eyebrows shot up into his hair.

"If anyone is the "douche" James, it is you."

"Weren't you just telling us not to behave like infants, Spock?" Both men became quiet. "Yeah, that's what I thought. Let's eat."

For the rest of the night they sat around, swapping stories of childhood and love. At one point Jim fell asleep in Spock's lap and Chekov in Sulu's. As they were carried off to bed, Jim protested.

"But we din't play never have ever!" He slurred, unable to keep his eyes open.

"We will play another day, t'hy'la."

"We better," Jim said as he snuggled deeper into Spock's chest.

Back at the campfire Bones stood up stretching. "I s'pose I should get to bed. Gotta be well rested tomorrow."

There was a chorus of, "Night, Len!" and "Goodnight, Leonard." .

"Night!" When he entered the tent Spock was already laying down next to Jim, his eyes heavy with exhaustion. Bones laid down and kissed the sleeping Captain's head then touched his fingers to Spock's. "It's been one hell of a ride, huh, Spock?"

Spock looked at the doctor with affection. "Indeed it has been, but it has been worth the trials and tribulations. Has it not?"

"Oh, it most definitely has." Bones closed his eyes, completely content with his life for the first time in years.

* * *

So, that's it. The end of Age before Beauty. A huge thanks to everyone who reviewed and favorited this story, you make it worthwhile! There is a sequel to this, but it may take some time until I start posting it. Another thing - the whole 'Jim dressing like Madonna' thing, it will be done, but I don't have a definite time for that, so be on the lookout!

Keep an eye out for the sequel: Plaid is Rad, coming soon!


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